Taking one step at the time

Final year project

2010-11-19T06:12:00.000-08:00

My final year project had just started a few weeks back and i m now suffering from the effects of it. I m very very behind time when most of my classmates concepts had been approved and mine is not. I felt so miserable? Why can't I just think on the spot? Why can't i just be CREATIVE? I purposely bold the word because that is the word that is killing me right now. CREATIVITY. My sister commented that i have no creativity even my lecturer shared the same view. What is wrong with me? God please help me

I don't to get a C grade again this time round. I really want to be in the A+ category with people like Xiao Qi, Hakimah, Mitch. Why can they get it so easily and I cannot? I can also be like them. I can also show to Mr. Sonny and Ms Marilyn that i have exactly the same standard like them. I don't want to be labeled inside a "slack" group because I am not one. Hopefully things will change fast and god blessed my doa so that i can think on the spot and be more creative in all kinds of things.

This time round my GPA grade, i aim for a 3.5 . I think it is a very reasonable goal that i should achieve in order to go to University. I seriously want to go to NUS. I must reach there no matter what. I must...insyallah. Allah, pls direct me along for this project. I can't do anything without your guidance. Amin...

Nobody understands me :(

2010-11-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

I felt so dissapointed as nobody understood me. Even the closes being in my life; my family members regularly condemed me. Especially my elder sister. She always have this attitude of being "on top of the world". Really stuck up. I have seen this in her attitude in many occasions. For example in my religious class. She always scold me and giving me that annoying look when i wanted to copy what she wrote on her notes. What's wrong with sharing.

Another thing is that i loathe the part when she comes in between my conversation with my mom. All she say that i look stupid when i keep on browsing my fb acc. It is non of ur business lah... Like hello...nobody is asking for ur opinion. Stop being a kpo. Sometimes i wonder what she will say when her friends ask her to describe about her younger sibling. Hope out of ten things at least one will be a positive one.

My mom. She always like to repeat things which she had said a thousand times. I seriously hate it. If she don't mind yelling the same thing over and over again, let me make this clear; I MIND!!!

I felt so depressed. With no one to sit beside me and cheer me up. For yesterday and today have been free boring periods in sch. I had no one to talk with and at home family members are like fighting with one another. In school i felt so outcast. My group leader,nicole never regard me like part of her group. She always do things alone with jeanette. What is lacking in me? Ami not a good member who can produce wonderful suggestions. I can do work,ok. I m going to prove it to all of you. Doesn't mean i do not really talk in class equate to stupidity and unresourceful. Can't you people be a bit more humble.

When i turn to seoul garden friends, they are not there too. Zubaidah is busy with her romance world while ina is busy with other commitments. Hazri which i should not have mention, might be busy with his new love life with whoever it is. If tell hazri what i am undergoing now, he will careless. He is more interested with his new girlfriend. All he could think of is love,marriage and only her. Nothing else.

Me? Nothing. Dear Allah please send me a kind-hearted seoul who can listen to all my problems, who can understand me and someone who can cheer me up and make me happy in times like this. Pls ya Allah,you are the only one whom i can seek help right now and you are the only one who can understand how i feel now. Amin...

Madrasah exam

2010-09-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

At first, i thought that i can enjoy my Hari Raya holidays. At a second thought, i don't think so. For this coming sunday and next sunday, i will be having madrasahg exam. I am so stressed out. The questions that is being tested out is so much different from my previous test.

The test comprises 2 parts. Part 1 and 2. Part 1 is an open book question. This is where i rely most of my marks on. But it is not as easy as said. It is easy to provide the answers but the questions are not easy to comprehend. I know that i must read very carefully the questions that i choose if not some parts of the questions will not be answered.

As for part 2, is close book question. I know that this section is a bit tough for me to handle but insyallah, with what i have learnt and god's help i think i will be able to sail through it smoothly.

Now, i am praying to god to ask him for help during my test later. Insyallah ida, you can do it !!! :)
Bismilla...

Salam Aidilfitri

2010-09-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 29th day of my fasting month. This means that Hari Raya is just 1 day away. Wow...so fun...i could feel the happy atmosphere as i m writing this post. Hmm... as for the preparations, it is not quite done yet. I still need to help mom with the curtains and to polish all the woody furniture and make it look new! As for my elder sister, she have to clean both toilets, sweep and vacuum the house. Darn, that's a lot of work, though. But nevermind. since my mom always praise her, saying that she produce quality work, so be it. I don't give a damn.

Now talking about school, guess what guys? From now on, I have 5 weeks of school holiday. That is super fun... Wee... play and sleep will fill up this 5 weeks i guess. Hehe... If only i have someone special right now, i can always go out with him, to make him happy of course. Nah... why should i be thinking of this in the first place. The optimistic side of me asks me to back up in my drawing conventions. It is because i received a lot of negative remarks from my lecturers during my presentation and all i have to do is to improve and be on par with the rest.

Another thing that is on my mind right now is my Seoul Garden friends. I miss them like only god knows. I promise to myself that if i meet them during the hari raya outing, i am so going to hug them tight. Especially Zubaidah and Ina. They are my blood sisters when i was working there. My world in SG evolved around them and Hazri. I don't know if they still remember me. I wish they did, because i think i am lagging out from the both of them. Ever since i started poly, i hav never heard of any hot news or gossips about them. Me felt so leftout.

The only thing that i know is that, Zub is together with Is now. That is super obvious in FB. As a friend, I hope that she can juggle her time well and i will always wish that their relationship will last long. Amin... From what i know the Doa will come true especially during this holy month of Ramadhan. :) As for Ina, one thing that is for sure is that she will be prettier that the last time that i see her. I am wondering what will they wear for Hari Raya???
See you guys around soon. For now, "SELAMAT HARI RAYA MINAL AIDIL WALFAIZIN"

Ramadhan Al- Mubarak

2010-08-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

Alhamduliah, syukur kepada allah kerana hari ini adalah hari yang ke 13 bulan Ramadhan. Semoga saya doakan setiap umat Islam di dunia ini mendapat ganjaran yang tinggi di sisi Allah s.w.t. Amin ya rabal allamin. Terdapat berberapa perkara yang berlaku pada bulan yang penuh barakah ini. Di antaranya ialah lawatan di rumah pertapis perempuan di mana saya dan rakan cca nurhayat saya telah mengadakan iftar di sana. Satu perkara lagi ialah saya telah mengada iftar bersama rakan2 di sekolah menegah saya.

Lawatan pertapis perempuan adalah suatu pengalaman yang tidak dapat saya lupakan hingga ke hari ini. Kami bertemu ramah dengan semua penduduk di situ. Kami telah menggajar mereka banyak permainan di samping menyemaikan rasa cinta kepada bahasa ibunda kita. Saya di tugaskan untuk memetik gambar sebagai kenangan kami di sana. Saya berasa terharu apabila melihat mereka tertawa antara sesama sendiri. Saya selalu bayangkan apabila berada di tempat mereka. Tiada kebebasan. Tidak mendapat kasih sayang keluarga kerana jarang bertemu dengan mereka.Tentunya saya akan berasa pilu kerana tidak dapat menjalani kehidupan yang normal seperti remaja2 yang lain.

Selain itu, saya berasa gembira kerana hubungan saya dengan kelab nurhayat semakin rapat. Saya rasa seolah-olah diri saya ini diterima oleh mereka. Banyak juga yang telah add saya di facebook :) Terima kasih kawan tercinta! Seperkara lagi, saya tidak tahu jika tekaan saya ini betul tapi saya tidak boleh nafikan bahawa ada rakan2 saya di Nurhayat terutama sekali teman lelaki, mereka semua kacak2 belaka. Saya tidak tahu kenapa, mungkin bukan dari segi fizikal, wajahnya atau luaran, ianya mungkin disebabkan oleh ahklak mereka serta keperibadian mereka yang murni. Itu yang membuat saya kadang-kadang tertarik dengan mereka. Di antara yang saya maksudkan ini ialah Hairul, Md. Akid dan Noorendi. Saya harap diakhir pengajian saya di polytechnic nanti, saya dapat mengenali mereka dengan lebih dalam lagi. Insyallah...

Iftar bersama rakan2 menegah saya pula telah bertempat di 18 chef di Yishun. Pada mulanya saya telah menyarankan untuk berbuka di Seoul Garden sahaja kerana ianya lebih dekat. Namun, harganya agak mahal dan ramai di antara kami, termasuklah saya, tidak mempunyai wang yang mencukupi. Di 18 chef, walaupun agak jauh sedikit, harga lebih murah dan berpatutan jika dibandingkan dengan Seoul Garden. Hehe... (shahidah is a betrayal to SG) Lapan di antara kami yang hadir. Saya,Filza,Yaqinah,Sakinah,Wali, Deeshraf, Zaim, Tafsir, Syamsul dan Yu Ming. Kami borak tentang course yang kami ceburi. Filza dan deeshraf pula selalu membuat suasana ceria dengan gelak ketawa mereka. Bagai tak kering gusi dibuatnya! hehe...sungguh seronok sekali apabila bersama mereka.

Saya masih lagi menunngu iftar bersama rakan2 seoul garden. Sayangnya mereka masih belum plan lagi hingga ke hari ini. Mungkin mereka sedang menunggu Hazri menggambil cuti kerja. Moga2 ada iftar lah ye rakan2. Saya rindu... (infinity) banget sama kalian semua, terutama sekali Hazri. Jangan bimbang kawanku. Ku tetap akan kenangkan saat bahagia kita bersama dan ku akan doakan supaya kamu semua sering bahagia disamping orang yang tersayang. Amin...amin...amin.

Saya berharap segala yang berlaku pada bulan Ramadhan ini ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Amin :) Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa ye kawan-kawanku yang tersayang. :D

PRIMERS!!!

2010-07-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

Primers had been driving me bonkers ever since it first started. It is way tougher than ICE 1,2 and 3. In ICE, you can just take your own sweet time to finish up each instruction in the design brief. But PRIMERS, once you slack, that it. We will be way back. Its like people already reach the moon and you are still climbing halfway through. Every single day will be a new process that we need to complete.

But I should never give up. Like what my classmate, Akid says, we should never give up. No matter what. This course is our future already. After this three years, we can choose to go whereever we like.

As for me i have this very strong gut to go to NIE and become a teacher. Not an art teacher, of course. I hate art. Maybe i want to teach primary school kids mathematics and science. I will work my way up the promotion ladder to become a HOD.

After being financially secured, then would i start to find my life partner. But i think it is a bit to late to one. I mean, by the time i will be on my late 20s. So old!!! But insyallah, with god's help, maybe he could meet me with a man that i love, a man which understands me inside out. Someone who i can share with my problems. Not a smoker definitely.

Maybe someone who will give his fullest encouragement and support to my courier. So,ya. Insyallah. Amin...

Garden Festival at Suntec City

2010-07-16T01:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after the PLT lecture my class went to Suntec City for Garden Festival exhibition. We were released around 12:48pm and were expected to be seen at the entrance at 2:30pm. I went there with my goodie friends; Amalina, Maisarah, Jolene, Zi fang and Jia lin. We took bus 160 to our destination. The bus was very humid and i wonder if the bus driver had switch on the air con. I sat on the seat which is facing the opposite direction of the moving bus. Giddy and nausea engulfed me coupled with the warm air on the bus. At the point we i could not take it any longer, i just put my head down and pressed down to my forehead.

Soon after we reached, Jolene suggested that we had our lunch at Burger King; Marina Square first as we still had ample time to spare. The nause feeling is still attached to my throat so i did not buy the set meal. I just got myself Mexican drumlets. Although it is oily, it really help to bring my nause feeling down and i do not feel giddy anymore. After that, we proceed to the entrance of the venue. We saw the rest of our class there.

I must admit that my camera is giving me problems as soon as i had entered. I feed it with bullets of batteries and i still failed to switched it on. I envy my classmates who came armed with a digital camera or even worse, DSLR camera. I feel that they were very lucky children indeed. Their parents willingly invested on a camera for their children. But i guess i am not as lucky as them. My family never bothers to buy a camera. Knowing that my mom likes to travel a lot.

God pls help me...

2010-06-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Today i had just received my bills. I was freaking shock that I have to pay that much amount of money. Handphone and internet bills. If i total the sum it will definiyely be more than my weekly school pocket money. What is happening in the world right now? Where are my parents when i need them in times like this. My dad is a stingy person. He rather give his money to that maid (bitch) rather than his wive or children. At one point of time, my mom get a slap from him just to clarify his relationship with that maid. What kind of father is he? Sometimes it makes me feel a very unlucky person in this world.
My mom on the other hand, worked just to get extra money to cover up the marketing expenses. Duh....like how is fifty bucks enough to last for the whole week! The worst thing is that my dad wanted to eat nice dishes when he only gives my mom that amount of money every week. One thing i hate about my mom's character is that when she gets back from work, she will just be in front of the computer playing Petsville. Guess what, the more irritating part is that she is playing it for free. That's why i don't see the point of paying thirty bucks per month when people are playing it for free. Another thing is that I felt that only me and kak nina is supplying everything in the house. That makes us feel angry at times. We are not being treated like other teenagers out there. Teenagers who need not worry about thier bills because they are very confident that their parents will settle it for them. All they need to do is just study...study...and study. Now when the fasting month is getting nearer my mom even ask me and my sister is we could share money to pay for the curtains. What is this??? I just don't understand parents nowadays.

I had a lot of things in mind that i need to buy. I moisturizing collagen, hair conditioner, shoes for school use and clothes for school use. My money is only enough to either buy the things that i need to buy or to pay for my bill. Sometimes i envy my classmates who could eat fast food almost every single day in school without having to worry whether they will have enough money for tommorow's meal. I am not being an ungrateful daughter but at least i wish that someone could understand the situation that i am in now. Perhaps the best solution for me is to improve more on my savings. Instead of saving only $10 per week, i will have to increase it to $20. I am trying right now and i will still try. Life without money would be hard for me.

The second thing that has been bothering me recently is hazri. When i text him, he will not reply me. When i chat with him on facebook he will not reply also. He can say that he is busy. But come on, everyone in the world is busy. Or maybe he totally forget about me. Maybe he likes someone else already. "Who is shahidah to me? She is some girl who wears a scarf and talk about nothing else but religious stuff. Very pious indeed. She is just a trainee when i worked with her last time". Maybe that is what i think he will be will be thinking. Please prove me wrong me wrong, hazri. I really miss you so much. I don't know as a friend or someone special... Iam so confused and angry and sad all at the same time. I wish i could find the right word to describe this special feeling but i can't. I will still pray for him day and night. I know he is a good and decent guy. He will never dissapoint me. He will always make me happy when we are together. I really miss those moments that we share together last time.

I got a feeling that we will meet again someday. Insyallah. I will always pray that Hazri will be happy among his family and friends. Insyallah. But for the time-being, please take care of yourself and i will be looking forward to meet you again. :D Take care Hazri!

Presentation!!!

2010-06-09T07:39:00.001-07:00

Tmrw is my presentation for my OC. Damn scared lah. I keep on imagine that my audience are monsters and will eat me up if i say my words wrongly. Argh!!! how... i timed myself and my presentation only lasted for 4:07 min. But i think can cause ms chong got said no need to be exactly 5 min flat. Plus minus 5 min will do. Actually i am not scared presenting. But due to seeing some faces i begin to get stage fright. I dunno why. I mean seeing matthew and darren's faces.

When i look at them its like they are sucking all my bravery and making me feel weak and frightened. Ya allah, please help me to speak confidently before others. Insyallah...

2010-05-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

Just i met up wif my seoul garden friends for breakfast at Mac donalds. I also felt that on friday like this, we should met and talk about stuff. Me, my sisters, Hazri, Isk and zul were there. All of them were enough to perk my morning. But unfortunately i was the one who turned up late. I hav to help my mom with marketing.

But the weird thing is that suddenly Hazri sounded to treat us for breakfast. Maybe because he had his pay already. But nevermind, i don't want to think so much on that.

Moreover, i brought along with me the books that i want to lend it to him. All the madrasah books. I don't feel that it is wrong to lend peole books right? Anyway, hopefully he understands the contents of the books.

I wish that we could stayed there longer but Ina and Zubaidah have to work so we sent them off first. When we reached outlet, the first person i saw was Fahrul. I did not have the opportunity to talk to him. But i hope he is ok. I know his contract will end soon, June right if i am not wrong. However, i managed to meet Kak Siti, Ben and yana. They were glad when we came. I miss them so much too.

Hazri's last day

2010-05-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was hazri's last day at SG. I finally managed to know after ina informed me.I f she have not informed me, i would not have known. Hazri will never tell me definitely. I dunno ever since my last day there, hazri, zu and ina have been a bit a far from me. When i came there yesterday, i felt that i had miss out quite a lot of things and everybody seems to ignore my presence. I know that zu and ina have been hiding something from me. But nevermind. I kept telling myself. How long can secrets last? It is just a matter of time before i know them. It is either that i know it now or later. Thats all.

As for abg Hazri, i hope he will like his new job although it is quite far way (loyang). I wish that he will save enough money and get married soon. Amin. I want him to be happy with his life. I always pray for his hapiness. My teacher once said. If we like something we should let it go. If that thing come back to us, it means that it is our. If it doesn't, then it happen to belong to someone else. I always relate this phrase with abg hazri. So by now shahidah, you should have know the answer very well.

Up till now i never had any outing with them. Saded right? Abg hazri promise me that someday he will bring me and the rest out but it seems to be an empty promise. Is because that i have curfews that they neglect me? I always feel like crying when i think about this. Hopefully, like what they said, they going to have an Hari Raya outing later in the year. I hope they remember me.

If you guys want to know the truth, I still miss abg hazri like my brother. Ever since i started school that brother love have been disconnected from me. Besides him, i dunno who else to look upon as my brother. As i am writing now, i still remembered the days that we have fun together. Especially the dinner that i had with him during my SG days. It just keep reapeating in my head without fail. As it repeats, my heart just could not stop feeling hurt and my eyes were always filled with tears. Abg hazri...pls don't leave me alone. I felt so lost without you around.

First wk @ SP

2010-04-23T06:04:00.000-07:00

My first week at SP was fun at the same time slack. But i like it though. It is also called the orientation week. During our first day we were assigned to our cubicles. Yea...at last we got our own workspace to work on. Furthermore, my seat is right at the back of the studio, so if we do something funny our PT will not know.He...he....

Anyway, just now marks the end of our orientation week. To end of the week my PTs decided to let us watch a movie. Guess what? The story that we watched was 2012. I was very attentive during the movie as it was my first time viewing it. However, it is not so for the rest. For example, like my classmate, Amalina, she told us that she watched this for the 5th time already. I can imagine how bored she must be. I think she can even tell us the story verbally without looking at the screen. But the best part was that we get to go home early. Yay!!!

After being released, me,Amalina,Jolene and Xi fang had our lunch at Eighteen Chef. It is located at the fusionpolis building. I don't even know where the heck that place is. But i just followed them. Being in a new place with new friends is an experience for me. We went for the student meal course and it is so damn cheap; affordable for a student like me. Jolene ordered the mushroom pasta. I went for the baked rice with black pepper. Amalina went the baked rice with the white sauce. Xi fang went for the pasta with mango sauce.

Yum....yum.... it was really filling. Following that, we were served with a scoop pf chocolate ice-cream. That really wrap up our stomach for the day. We really had fun. Thank guys....we should eat there more often. Like say...2 times a week. Everyday also i don't mind.

Tomorrow we are planing to go art friend again cause jolene have not purchase her materials yet. As for me, i have all the items except for the 2 colours which i m short of money the last time i went there. But i don't mind going there again for my friends. I love them. I can also window shop again for shoes and accessories. Now trying to text Amalina regarding tmrw's plan. Chao...

ABE camp !!!

2010-04-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

I notice that ever since i have this new lapy i used it quite often especially for blogging. Ha..ha... nevermind. Anyway this camp was held on 5-8 april. At first i felt regretful, unwilling and guilty joining this camp. Regret because i could have work at SG and earn more money. Moreover, this camp is optional and Zubaidah is also not attending so i was telling myself why should i attend it? Unwilling because i thought that i will miss my SG friends for 4 days. Ok, maybe 4 days is not so long but for me i felt that leaving them for a day makes me feel like a year. That kind of thing. Guilty because i should have joined the Malay Society Club camp cause i have promised them that i will come for it.They even email me the kit list already. Sorry guys. If i have had attended it, all my prayer time will be well taken care of.

First day of camp was damn boring. Time flies by damn slowly. I sat there with the rest of the campers feeling like an idiot. Everyone was alien to me. I feel inferior. Most of them came with their sec sch friends. But i came alone. Really daring to enter to a totally new world, environment. Like who among my classmates got into the same course as me. None. Haix. I felt like crying at first, looking forward for the camp to end when everyone were looking forward for the camp to start. Hoping for tiime to fly super fast. It is like wanting to close my eyes for a second and when i open it back the camp had ended. That is how bad i wanted it to be. So selfish of me. We played "blow wind blow". From that moment on, my eyes had already caught some hot-looking guys. At least the thought of them could keep my crazy intentions down for a while. I was in Mao Zhe Dong group and those good-looking dudes were in other group. Hai... such a waste. My group leaders were Naufal and Li feng (LF). My group members were: Azry, Natalie, Mira, Iffah, Mitch (sounds like b**** when pronounced fast), Shawn and those who i forget their names. Opps....

2010-03-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

I felt very restless today. Maybe is due to the long shift that i work today. I was doing buffet for the first half of the day. I don't mind doing buffet during lunch time. I just need to stand by all the meat and top up for only once. Unlike dinner, where the restaurant runs like a mad house. I have to always do top up for almost everything. Some more the seniors know that i can do buffet they let me suffer alone, knowing that i am a lady. A trainee some more. Where are the seniors when we need them? Huh... i don't know how to vividly describe how i feel rite now. It's complicated...Only god knows.

Just now when i was doing floor, I saw i of my old friends dining in with her family. My sister knows her brother. I felt so inferior when i was cleaning after them. They were there spending quality time together. But what was i doing? Looking like an idiot with my oily face asking for dirty plates. I felt so low. Like they were up there and i am still on the ground. You know what i mean. Sometimes i kept asking myself. Why should i clean after people? Why should i work under people's command.

Sometimes i don't understand why the workers in SG must treat the manager like god. They get so scared when they walk pass, they hide somewhere to eat because they scared the managers will see them. I mean why must all this happen? Why must we ask permission before we eat? What if we are really really hungry? Then we must die2 search for them before we can eat. What kind of policy is that. The managers were behaving like as if they own the restaurant. Wah...they are the biggest. "you must respect me". I don't give a damn shit about that kind of attitude...People like should work alone and not in F&B sector.

yay new laptop !!!

2010-03-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today I work up till 9pm. Like WTH! Why do my manager bother to send me early when it is 1hr 30 min to closing. Haix... Anyway ma'am maricell told me that the reason is because she saw that norman is not doing his work at buffet. Part of me feels guilty because before we start work i die2 told him that i wanted to the meat area. Then he give in to me because he pity me.

Usually the meat area need to do alot of topping up as compared to the desserts area. So from far maybe what the ma'am saw what maybe correct. Anyway next time i felt that it is not a good idea to put 2 person in buffet.

After that when i went home my father gave me a surprise. He bought me a laptop. Even though i do not have the chance to choose the model that i wanted, but still the one that my dad bought for me is quite nice. It has most of the latest features. Alhamdulilah...I wrote today because i wanted to familiarise my fingers to the keypad. Ha...ha... that's all folks!!!

Outing with mum

2010-03-20T06:33:00.000-07:00

Today i woke up super early (ok,lah if u feel 8am is early). But for me it is. Ok lah. I have to admit that ever since i worked at Seoul Garden i have been waking up very late. But i have my own reasons as to why this is so. Firstly, all my energy had been drained out when i worked there. Second, i need to be charged in order to start the next day afresh. There are many others but this to is the main ones.

Actually, the main purpose to go out is to submit the Mendaki Bursary/ Loan. Wait is it both or either 1? Nevermind. Anyway who cares. Even before the poly starts i had already feel stressed out with their financial forms. At first we had already decide on using CPF savings. A few days later, my mom decided to switch course and instead took the Mendaki scheme. Haiyo. Like WTH!!!

I honestly feel that it is redundant because whether i apply for Mendaki or not it is not confirm that i am going to get the bursary or not (looking at my results...) How i wish all this can end smoothly. I want to start my poly stress free. You know what i mean right?

It was like raining the whole day plus my shoes are wet no matter how i tried to avoid the puddles. In addition to that with the terrible blister at the back of my leg. Only god knows how i feel at that moment. My mom on the other hand continued to get paranoid the whole time when i was with her. Even when we were in the bus, she kept on blaming my dad for not being a responsible father towards his childs education.

I don't mind listening to all her grievences but look. I still got my limits. I know you are sad but when something went wrong please don't start blaming other people. I hate that character (loathe) And when she get stressed out she will start scolding me and keep saying that i am being rude to her. Sometimes i feel that i am in a difficult position. I seriously do not know if i should pity her or just let her mumble all to herself.

After that we went to geylang to buy my Shadira facial wash. I tink if i did not buy it just now i will be like sratching my face like a monkey. Gosh my face is so addictive to that thing! Following that we had lunch. About 12:30pm we went home by train.

On the train something funny happen. I was sleeping then suddenly this couple push their baby pram toward my direction. Imagine how their baby looks like! So cute!!!! Can u just imagine the dad is a eurasian and the mom is a chinese. Aw....I feel like biting her cheeck especially when she smiles.the baby kept on kicking me.. Ha..ha... Just imagine if that was my child... lol i m too far sighted already. I have not even start poly and now i am thinking about having a child. Ok so cut the crap out,k.

2010-02-10T08:08:00.000-08:00

I don't like it when people tease me about. First few times it sounded funny. But after a while i got sick and tired of it. It is not funny at all. Who says that I am rightfully his? They are just making me angry and leaving me feeling stupid.

Zubaidah, what are the chances that we are going to date? Even normal days we don't even go out. We seldom speak to each other. There is a big gate of silence that separate the both of us. Our mouths were sealed everytime we meet. It's like as if we both what we were thinking inside our mind. We always talk about mundane stuff. Work, religious. Nothing beyond that.

But from what i feel, i think that we do not have any special relationship. Because firstly he just wanted to treat me like a normal friend. I guess my love for him is one-sided. Maybe he will continue to love Yati. And maybe they will get married. OMG!!! I cannot continue any furthur... it hurts. It really really hurts to think of that.

Not available in MSN, not in facebook either. It makes me think that he had already forgotten about me. Why Hazri?

Pls berterus terang denganku. Hati ini tak sanggup untuk berdiam lagi. Semakin kau jauh dariku, semakin ku takut untuk kehilangan mu Hazri... (crying)

When will i get to know the truth???

2010-02-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ever since I know Hazri, things have change. Not for the worst but for the better. Unfortunately, i never get to know him better. When we talk we always talk about religious. I don't dare to chat about other topics. Maybe he also feel the same way.

The sad thing is that someone told me that he use to like this girl in SG also. When i think of liking him, I always have this thought of being selfish, ruthless. It got me thinking of why i should be the third party if they are still in da relationship. Why must i spoil their happiness. Their love for one another. Their longing to be together.

He told me already that if i m 20 yrs old then he will consider. Why must he set such criteria for me? Why can't he love me like a normal person? Am I too young for him? C'mon... age is just a figure. Love is not about figure. It is about the person itself.

I love hazri. I really love him a lot. I cannot lie to myself anymore. The more i convince myself with this lie, the more it hurts inside. My heart already have a wound from da past. I don't want the wound to get any bigger but thinking about him makes it feel like da wound is being stab by a thousand swords.

I truely do not know how this is going to end. But i hope it will be a happy ending. Its just that I m afraid to lose hazri. Not being able to see him anymore. God pls help me. I do not know what to do now. Da minimum i can do is to pray that my relationship with hazri will bloom like a beautiful flower. Or if not i will treat him like my elder brother. The one that will always be by my side, supporting me. the one who will protect me from the storm.

Hazri please don't keep quiet. I need to know what u think of me. As the silence between us passes day by day, i feel weaker and unprotected. Hazri please say something... quiet i no good.

Here comes 2010!!!

2009-12-29T22:45:00.000-08:00

It has been almost a month since I started working at Seoul Garden. I have gained alot of happy moments and I made alot of friends from all ages. Ok... telling you this basically won't help. Let me elaborate furthur.

I learnt alot of things there. Such as how to sort out the cutleries into their various places, how to change hotplates when requested by customers how to set the tables and last but not least how to prebuss. However, the downside of this job is that the hotplates were quite heavy and it is not suitable for a female to carry it. But no choice, we still have to do it. Besides, my colleagues there were friendly. They really welcome me from the very first day I worked there. It's only that I need some time to know them better.

Most of them are seniors,though. They have been working there for quite some time, say about 3 years. For some, it is a bit longer like 8 years. I think they started working ever since CWP building were there. The funny part happened when they mistook my face with a chinese girl. Maybe I am born fair. Actually it is kind of a compliment to me. I like it! Not only them but some of the customers too.

Another reason for working there besides earning extra pocket money is to look at cute guys. You know what I mean??? "Eye Candy" at work. I should admit that mojority of the males were good-looking. They are very presentable and very gentlemen. I am so proud of them.

After working there for a few days, I kind of find my "eye candy". His name is Hazri. He is cute and quite decent-looking. I shall not reveal his age as you will not believe the numbers that I type. He is very honest and he likes to do good deeds. I miss him everytime when he is not at work. But at least I got his number so that I can text him when the need comes. If I marry someone like him, I just want to cuddle him all day long. He need not work. What am I thinking??? Am I going crazy or wat??? What if he is in the relationship??? Then I would not have stand a chance.

My friends might be thinking, what about Daniel??? Well, he do not exist in my life anymore. But sediments of his love is still resting at the bottom of my heart. It is still painful, no doubt. But life has to move on... I cannot be hoping for miracles to happen.

So, 2010 is approching soon. Which means that there will be new resolutions and new actions taken. I shall continue this on my upcoming post. C ya....

Badae Present...

2009-12-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

First and foremost Happy 17th Birthday to myself. Presents??? Nope I dun receive any but it's ok. It is not a "must" thing. But I think god is the one who give me my present. I had gotten a job at Seoul Garden. It is da best present that I had ever received so far.

Anyway, I enjoyed working there even though it is my first day. The environment is very cheerful and enjoyable. Everyone work together as a team. Sounds familiar right? Yes it sounds like my past SJAB life. We work together towards the motto of "One 4 all, all 4 one". There, I work as a runner. The name itself sounds bizarre. Let alone the job scope itself.

Basically what I have to do is to collect all the washed cutlaries to their appropriate place and to top-up food when they run out. Simple but yet tiring. It is like a mad house. What's more during peak periods. We as stuff are always looking forward for the restaurant to close.

I made alot of friends from both genders. The are friendly people and able to accept new comers. They are not stingy to teach new comers the procedures. Furthemore, I willing to learn new skills so it's fit's the whole thing. For break time we dun have to worry cause food will be provided.

Before we went home, there is like a briefing, in my school they call it the"OHMS", riversidians will know what I mean. Following that we get to eat the leftover buffet. That alone really help to cut down on my expenses. That's great you know. After that we go home together. Since today is my birthday, it's ok right to make a birthday wish??? Ok... I wish that I get to work here long enough. Secondly, get to meet all my sjab frens, seniors, ms ong and to go out with them. Thirdly, to get good "o" level results and lastly, to go to a good polytechnic. Insyallah......(Imagine a cake with seventeen lighted candles on it) Pho..... Ok I blow it already. He...he...

Ok, that's all for now folks. Until then, see ya. :) Got to get some rest for tmrw's work.

2009-07-31T03:46:00.000-07:00

Hey, its me again. I am writing today cause I want to give my point of view on prelims. The usual norms is that people find it very difficult for da prelims but later on they will do well for their o levels. As for me. I feel that my school prelim paper is doable and it depends on the amount of effort put in by each individual students.

Personally, I felt that I have not put in my maximum effort yet. I think that because I am still in "playing" mode but I must really wake up before it's too late. After the prelims, there is no more trial exams for to try on. I don't want to gamble with my exams especially o levels. It will determine my future...my career... and above all my life!!!

Back up Shahidah!!! I can do it!!!

Mock exam period is over... june holidays here i come...

2009-05-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of Mock Period. It has been a nightmare sitting in the freezing library and the 4/7 classroom. But at least there is a few good things that happened during the whole week and I kind of enjoy it. On monday, we already planned to revise geography. Wow... Mr. Koh's assignment is piling up day by day. Nevertheless, I still must find a way to get it over and done with. What to do? As an O level student I cannot just ignore work that is given to me rite? In the library, I sat with my classmates, all of them are chinese except me. How sad. I wish that the rest of my malay classmates to join us as well.

As for tuesday, we revised on chemistry. At least this spark my enthusiasm a bit. After revising this subject I personally felt that this subject is worth to score distinction. As it is very straight-forward. All one needs to master is the basics of each chapter and wala...distinction is under your control! Except maybe if people think that the practical is the one that pull down their marks than I might somehow agree with them. I should confess that my practical wasn't that good too. I can only get to meet the rest of my friends during recess time which is within the 45 min duration. During the first day already we have missed each other so much. Inference: This shows that my class is bond and can't bear to lose one another.

Alot of things happen when I was with them at the library. After all, samantha and gang is ok to hang out with. They are nice people, those that can make you laugh when you are feeling down, those that can perk your day. Tired of revising we automatically switch to playing the "murdere game". It was fun, though, playing with them. I only find difficulty for those "small-eyed people" cause I cannot diffferentiate whether they are blinking or not. This game need me to stare at all my players.Moses and Roger also stared at me. They always gave me that kind of stare that can sting your eyes!

Now term 2 is over and june holidays are starting. I received my june schedule already. It is very pack especially like, 3 hours of physics practical (no way!) and 3 periods of english lessons(come on people.... get ALIVE!) From now till june, sayonara....

March Holidays: Mersing Trip

2009-03-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

I had just came back from the mersing trip.It was tiring though. Nevertheless let me start telling the story...

Together there were 4 families going for this outing. My family and my cousins of course! Our mode of transport was cars and van. Knowing that my parents do not drive any car, my uncle decided that we rent a van so that my family can still follow to the outing. The day before the outing, my mom and granny had already occupied themselves with the food. It was known that they were in charge of the food whereas my uncle was assigned to be in charge for the games. There were variety of food until some of it we were unable to finish it.

The van was okay though even it is quite stuffy but when we open the windows, it helps a lot. The journey from s'pore to Mersing was about 1.5hours. I didn't get bored in the van cause there was a lot of food to eat. We also kinda race with the rest of my cousins ( da F1 version). During the journey, my cousin vomitted on the van cause the road was very meandering and bumpy. At one point of time, the seat in front almost came out. What a bumpy roller coaster ride that we experienced!!!

By the time we reached to the Fishing Bay Resort, it was around noon. We were quite restless and lethargic after the ride. After our room keys were being issued, we quickly get inside and jump around, excited cause we have reached our destination. Our suite was and open-concept one. The weird thing is it is equipped with air-conditioner at the same time a fan. You can imagine how cold it is at night. After settling down, my siblings and cousins jump into the pool as it is very humid. I did not join them as I am having my menses. Instead I watched them play water polo and became the judge. My cousin, Fairuz was sitting beside me. He too did not like to swim in the humid weather. We chatted and laugh when my siblings do stupid actions.

Not long later, my mom and granny came. They rolled up their pants and dipped their legs inside the lukewarm water. It was a nice feeling actually, leg therapy. Seeing them bathing can be quite boring and unproductive. I followed my mom to snap some photos so that the outing would be a memorable one. My granny went back to the room to get some rest while Fairuz joined my uncle for fishing.

The scenery from our chalet was very inviting. It is the picturesque of an open sea with a broken jetty. It was like one of those pictures that you can find on postcards or wallpaper however the difference is that I could experience it with my vary eyes. How wonderful isn't it?

In the late evening, the BBQ pit was ready and we could enjoyed our dinner in the open sea. There were an abundance of food. In fact there games later on with attractive prizes waiting for us. Everyone was sporting enough to join the games. Conversely, the men whom went fishing did not managed to get any fish.

The next day, we packed our things and left the premises before noon. I seriously enjoyed this outing. I want to go again...pls....:)

<<<~ Post CT1 Reflection~>>>

2009-03-11T00:26:00.000-07:00

CT1 had recently ended, last week to be exact. I am grateful with the results that I have gotten but I know I can do better. For example, for Chem if I had brought in my calculator, I think most probably I will get an A1 or something...

As for the rest of the subjects I did fairly well. Moreover, I am very happy with my SS results cause I think that the highest marks that I hav ever gotten. The sucess behind it is utter memorising the content that all. At least I am still alive after the exam. I always thought that if I memorise everything from the notes, I will end up getting brain damage or serious migrane. I can see that Ms Ong was happy when she marked my script and it's obvious. I also can see that improvement in myself. That's the major thing rite?

So after knowing all my marks and stuff like that, what is my next step???

Well, of course I will work even harder for better results. I will still stick with my goal setting. Also I will not repeat the folly mistakes that I had made during CT1. (i should know what it is) As for Prelims, i know it's gonna be tough cause it is the norm. However, I will put in my best and more for every subject.

Things to do after CT1:

attend focus study in term 2 diligently
stay attentive during lessons (not passive)
ask questions after school
do TYS as much as possible

All da best for e next exam... :)

<<< TeRRenganu TrIp>>>

2009-01-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

During the last 4 days, most ppl, especially my chinese frenz would have spent their day visiting their relatives.As for me, I spent my CNY hol differently. My mum thought since it was a long-term holiday, she decided that we go somewhere far,like Malaysia(Terengganu). Luckily there is enough tickets at a last minute booking.

My aim to go there was to have a look at da crystal mosque that has been built not quite a long time ago,say 1 year. Before the trip I heard that the magnificent sculpture of the mosque has improved the tourism rate there. That's a gd sign for their country.

I took a coach there so the journey to our first rest point is at machap. It took 1hr15min there. On the way there, I made use of the privileged that I was sitting near the window. I could not pull my attention away from the lush green scenery upon the window. Sugar cane,coconut plantations if I could remember vividly. Also, I managed to see some tropical rainforest along the way. As I observed, I recite the different layers that were found in the rainforest and try to spot each and everyone of them. Geog students should know... This makes my geog lessons more familiar and meaningful to me.

One of the activities listed in the itinery was the boat ride to the 14 different islands at 'Tasik Kenyir'. I was told that the island belongs to the poor pple in that state. It was true though, they were mostly fishermen earning a living by the boat ride. I managed to talk to one of them about they well-being and he said that majority of them living there were on the verge of poverty. Seriously, I cannot carry on. It is so sad to think about it.

Nevertheless, the boat ride were fun and challenging. We had to fight with the heavy drizzle and the choppy waves. Feel like going to the edge of the boat and doing the 'titanic pose'. Lol. We persevered on and we stop da first island which is the islang of herbs. There were about over 2000 species of plants which have their own medicinal value. Each plant was noted by its name as well as its functions to health. Going much deeper, they built a small cottage for the tourist to try some of their herbal drinks. There were two types: "Tongkat Ali" (for men) and "Kacip Fatimah" (for women). What they did was to chopped the bark into smaller pieces and boil it.

Although the Kacip Fatimah has a pungent smell and disencouraging colour, I still tried it. After that I took some photos of the tree can read more about its functions. Functions: Gd for menstrual problems, after childbirth, bone problems, flu, fever and to increase sexual desire(a bit obscene). Dun worry, I don't get excited after drinking it...

After that we visited another island which are fond of their fish farms. When I reached there, a few hectares of net had been set up to house their catch. There were many types of species but I only remembered one which is Talapia. Although there were 12 other islands remained unvisited, we only have the time to know the dominant ones.

In the late evening, we check-in to Ming Star Hotel and rest before dinner arrives. Guess wat, there is Secret Receipe outlet near the hotel. I helped myself with the "Tom Yum Kung" dish at secret recipe. I cannot stop from drinking the soup. It was too delicious too decribe. You guys should try it out! As sourvenir from the shop, I bought chocolate indulgence and tapao back to my hotel.

The next day we went to the crystal mosque, the highlight of the trip. I could only believe after I see it for myself. A mosque floating in the middle of the lake, with its dome wrapped with black crystals, giving out shining reflection with the help of the sun. It was sunset then. Imagine the beatiful panorama in your mind.

Lastly, I would like to say that my trip was worthwhile and no regrets. I enjoyed myself there and I don't mind going there again if opportunity was given to me.

2008-12-28T22:46:00.000-08:00

I not so productive today...

I bought sec. 5 books and accompanied Sarina to the library. After that bought some stuff and headed home. Basically, I not feeling quite well right now. My bones are still aching from yesterday's BBQ. Probably, I stand quite long. My head is spinning and things that I see is very blurish.

Yesterday event was simple and casual. However, things were done at last minute. I'm not complaining or being grumpy but I just want things to go as planned. That's all. I don't ask for much. First things first. How do we eat without proper utensils like forks and spoon??? Can you imagine eating everything with just wooden stick??? Unhygienic and a bit uncivilized.

Secondly, by da time da seniors or instructors come, we should at least have some food ready for them. What do you expect them to do??? Wait???- If they have unlimited patience then fine, if not they are going to freak out.

No one is to be blamed over here. It the weather's fault anyway.It was drizzling when we came, so I guess that's the reason why they may have some problems starting the fire.

Food wise, it is quite nice. I like the bbq chicken and the otah! Yummy... Even though it is burnt on the outside but it is still chewable on the inside.

Nvm. Still can improvised and make it better the next time. As for now, I need lots of rest. If there is a need, I would just knock myself in bed the whole day and hope that my headache would go of. I wish that I had a speedy recovery...

Twilight Movie

2008-12-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

Last night me n sister went to watch da Twilight Movie, officially. Although da timing was not quite rite, we still enjoyed the movie. In my opinion, the duration of the movie is very short. The ending part wasa bit 'hanging". My sister though the movie had not ended but since alot of ppl r springing out from their seats, I guess it's over.

Ha... ha... I once again, for the second time, recommend all those who read my blog to go and catch the movie while it hit the cinemas. Enjoy the movie folks!!!

2008-12-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

My tuition had resumed today. I met new friends, I should say the sec. 4s. However, they were not my batch of students. I felt inferior cause me and jia hui are being outnumbered. Lessons when smoothly as expected. Before the start of the lesson Miss Oh explain some of the procedures and a bit on rules and regulations.

However, I must take each lesson seriously. I have learn a few vocab words, though. Hope that I put it into practice when writing or blogging.

On the other hand I am looking forward for 10 dec. St. John outing. Yap. I wished that I can meet some of my old "friends" again. Hopefully it will turned out to be a memorable one. Sadly, after that I have sci. class very tiring. All the best to me...

Treatz...

2008-11-24T05:58:00.000-08:00

I met sarina at boots n shoes at 1pm. She wore sunshine yellow dress wif jeans. Elegant, though. I was not late. He...he...he... Punctual babe!!! After that we have to wait for Jeff cause he is having his lunch with his brothers at KFC. Jeff was in his sweatshirt and skinny jeans. Em... So instead of standing there like an idiot, we went for window shopping. Da dream that Sarina told me is a total nightmare. Hope it didn't happen in reality. Scary! When his done, we took the train and headed to junction 8. Hoping to find something there but after walking for 30 mins our efforts we of no avail. Haix so sad...

Me and Sarina were getting hungry. Our starvation had us constantly remind us about aisyah. Her absence had made us feel sick and my stomach to grumble more. When hungry, no mood to shop. When tat happens it defeats the purpose of us going there.

When our patience has gone to the maximum, we had no choice but to dine in (bo pian!!!). We thought that maybe when we are eating, aisyah would join in. We were exuberent and quickly find the outlet and settled in. However, the service could be improved.

The reception guy had a vocal problem. When he talked to me, he is like mumbling with his girlfriend. Luckily there were some hand gestures. So I just followed him. When I looked at him, it reminds me of donkey. At least his better. His voice is smooth and velvet. Something to be proud of huh...

After filling our tummy wif hawaiian and BBQ chicken wif mushroom soup , Aisyah still have not arrived. A few waiters had been brushing past our table to sort of give us a signal to pay the bill. But we ignored them totally.

Around 4:50pm she finally arrived, wearing casual with carrying red pouch. Jeff is damn mad at her. I could see that. But we are not totally angry actually. But more to having a dilemma cause we feel guilty if we did not wait for her. So instead of having grudges, flip it to jokes and laughter. It was hilarious to eat with them.

After lunch, we went to AMK Hub to find shoes. Exellent place for shopping but couldn't really suite my taste. Sorry. Bought a pair of "love-at-first-sight" shoes from mondo and went back around 8pm.

Luckily mum never scold. Thanx for ur understanding, love u mum!!! Muackz...

Aisyah and Jeff had to work tmrw. Gd luck 2 u guys. Enjoy working. As for me and the peanut enjoy the rest of holiday at home fininshing hw... Ew.... That sucks!!!

Gtg, nites... :>

<<<Eclipse>>>

2008-11-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

I finished reading the book already. Interesting but addictive. Once you read it, you will be eager to know what will be the ending.

The book tells a story of a human girl, Isabella Swan, who fall in love with a vampire, Edward Cullen. She left Phoenix and came to Forks after her parents had been separated. In forks, she lived with his father, Charlie. His father was a policemen and often deals with the crime in town.

Bella met Edward in high school. Love blossoms when Edward tried to save Bella from being crashed by a truck. Edward is a strong and confident mortal. His beauty had melted Bella's heart ever since that incident. His perfect granite-like body and as white as snow was the most beautiful human Bella had ever seen.

Bella on the other hand, plays a weak character and often seek protection from those around her, especially Edward. On top of that, Bella met her friend Jacob. She and Jacob had forge a close friendship till one day that Jacob confess to her saying that it was more than friendship.

When Jacob transformed into a werewolf, Bella could not accept the fact that her friend had totally changed. Now Bella has to make a choice. To join the Cullens and become a vampire or remain as an immortal. Here Bella is trapped in a love-triangle.

I recommend u guys to read the book. I can guarantee that it is worth reading it. :>

Freedom vs Boredom

2008-11-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when there is freedom there will be boredom. But when there is boredom there will be no freedom? What am I talking??? Maybe some alien language. Gd news is that my com is working again. Yahoo!!! My life is so much easier now. Without the internet at home, it is a hassle to go all the way to RP just to use their net service.

I dunno when I will come out with them. I thought I want to bring fazdlin but she is a bit troublesome. Must confirm da date and so on. She and Aisyah are the same. But at least Aisyah is negotiable. I can't forget what happen during Hari Raya. Sarina and Aisyah will know. I pitied her sometimes cause she do not have alot of friends in school but sometimes her attitude is getting to my nerves.

Anyway hopefully we will meet out during 1 of this holidays. Guys, I had set aside some amount for you all so hurry and confirm the date before I use it and spent on other things!!!

Besides this, there is another thing in my mind. His birthday. 2 more days to go. Should I acknowleged it or not? Maybe send a msg or something... Come on.. I have to make up my mind by tmrw. Part of me says that I should forget him totally cause I don't think he remember me anymore. He has 1001 things to rmbr besides rmbring that someone that stays beside him is wishing him happy birthday.

Another part of it says that I should do something. To enlighten our friendship. His the one who wanted it as a friendship. So be it. Worst case is that he don't even treat me like a friend. Just a junior that he can always scold and give comments. Its up to him. As for me, I will always treat him as a significant guy in my life.
Let say I change my mind not to msg him, at least I could wish him now. Advance wish: Happy Birthday Daniel!!!

Exam fever is over

2008-10-31T01:06:00.000-07:00

I m only left with my MT o levels. My EOY and maths were over. But not too happy... My exams are not totally oer yet. I really need to put my best for my mother tongue and maths paper. For MT, I already retaking da 2nd round and I m not going to repeat this again for my maths. Never!!! I had wasted my parents money.

I always got A1 for my MT, but why during "o"s I m not able to do as well. What will my teachers think of me??? Maybe because I was over too confident. But I don't want to be seen as a proud student. Prou for what? Going to NA stream? What is there to be proud of ??? Maybe what my mum say is true: I already made big mistake by going 2 NA stream. Everyone, my teachers, frenz, cousins all thoght that I can go Express but I had betrayed their high impressions on me.

I m dissappointed with myself too, sometimes. Whenever I dreamt high, I usually achieve low. No matter what I still want 2 get A1 for my MT and maths cause on with that I stand a higher chance to go JC. Insyallah...In life, I must fight for what I want . I cannot just expect results to drop fro the sky.

As for my sleeping habits, I still could not cope with it. My mumis always mad at me about this matter. Sorry mum, can't help it. It's getting over addictive!!! I can go bonkers without it.

As for now, pillows aside,donkeys aside. Study,study,study. If you think I m crazy, it is up to you to decide.

Hari Raya 2008 (Part1)

2008-10-14T02:14:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful time yesterday going out wif my goody 4/1 frens. :) They are jovial and sometimes to the extend of going bonkers. Ha...ha... I almost got influence by them. I thought all da 4/1 malay kids will come. Sadly, only da six of us came (me, yaaqinah, filza, sakinah, wali, zaim, deesraf) + hafiz (4/2). We planned to meet at 9pm. I thought I was gong to be late as I came out of my house at 8:50am. My SJAB frens will know hw "PUNCTUAL" I am... By the time I reached in front of boots & shoes it's already 9:05am. So... early hor...lol

To my amazement, non of the girls have reached yet. On wali zaim and weirdly cheng yu??? My first impression was that I thought heis going to follow us for hari raya. But actually he is waiting for li hui. I dun know. Maybe they are going out.

Wali was wearing pale pink baju kurong wif a brooch sticked to his songkok. Kinda cute. He is the only one among the bouys wearing the malay tradisional costume. So sad... (Budaya Melayu telah pupus di telan zaman)

The rest of them were wearing casual outfits. Feel like punching their faces!!! Sooner, the rest of the girls arrived. Filza and sakinah is wearing kain songket like me except that sakinah's look exactly like me only different colour. I like filza's misty green contacts! Lovely... Oh, Iike their make-up and hair do too. They are so into fashion!!! Cool babe... Btw Wali commented on my outfit too. He said that I look gorgeous in my scarf. I dun really know weather he meant it or not. I kinda blush for half a second... (Paiseh)

First, we attacked seri's house. Luckily she woke up and bath already. Not like last when they came to her house, she was awake yet. But i dun really like da cats around the house. Its very disturbing, to make things worse, I have phobia for cats.Guess wat i did??? All the time in da house I kept lifting my leg on da sofa. Da boys kept on giggling on my stupidity. Very funny. they said I looked totally retarded. So sad...

After that when to nabilah's house. During da journey, Wali and yaaqinah sat together in da bus and the rest of them kept teasing da both of them. In da first place they were wearing the same colour so our first impression of them was they look like lovely couple. As for me, I have no comments. They are just friends to me...

At wali's house, his mum prepard for us fried rice dumpling. Yummy... same like what my mum use to cook too. All da way his mum kept calling him "Wali Baby". Its amused me alot... After that she showed us some video when wali was 1-2 years old. Damn cute!!! The interesting part is the sleeping position. Imagine a baby sucking on a milk bottle and sleeping. Imagine that yourself.

To be continued...

Being a subject rap...

2008-09-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

It is very challenging indeed 2 be maths & physics rap at the same time. This morning I had 2 collect da SCGS paper. It was very tough, though. When I wanna collect, they keeped on taking their frenz paper and copy. Wats da point? They r just cheating themselves not Mrs. Tan. And it is so troublesome. I had 2 repeat m instructions over and over again. (I sounded like a tape recorder) Finally when it was A-maths lesson then they wanna rush and hand it up 2 me. As 4 me, although I left 4 questions behind at least I m honest. Haix... No words 2 describe them.

During PE lesson, our height and weight was taken. Know wat, my weight was reduced by 3kg and I had shrunk by 2cm. O.M.G. No wonder I feel like floating. Very light. Only tat I dun have da wings. Ha...ha... sounds ridiculous. Sarina on the other hand, gain 1kg. I dunno where she get that 1kg from. And up till now she is still unhappy about it.

Anyway, the good news is that there is no SJAB activity tmrw.(Only for 4/1 students) Yipee... Luckily we asked, if not we had to suffer and the scortching sun, fasting, looking at them doing footdrill. That is so not going to happen.

Felt demoralized...

2008-09-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

No mood 2 finish my hw. 2 many of them. Sick n tired of looking at them. I must find a solution 2 get it done b4 da sch reopens. Have 2. No choice. Can u imagine, from mon-thur do hw n back home. Its like an endless life. Or I should say "NO LIFE". ha...ha...ha...

Anyway, after a few days at this poly, I can roughly know what kind of culture, lifestyle they had. Well, they look like a bunch of happy-go-lucky people. Always hang around wif their frenz that kinda stuff. Good what. Socializing I mean. But I sriously don't see da need to build a huge library here cause the students don't really go to the library.

Lifestyle wise, they like to wear casual and sometimes funky. This is what I call freedom. Liberty. But my goal is 2 go JC. Not poly. Let me reveal my goal setting. After O level, go Innova JC. After that go NUS. After that go NIE training. Last but not least, become a teacher or HOD!!! (mission accomplished)

Let's go 2 the next part of da day. During lunch, I and Sarina accompanied Jia Hui 2 eat her instant noodles. (my stomach is growling) While waiting for her, something wierd happen. A guy(which is believed 2 be the student there) come in and said hi to us. To make things worse, he introduce himself to us. Like as if Im interested to know who the hell he is!

However, he is friendly though. He dun't look like a stranger to me. Maybe he wanted 2 make frenzs with me that's all. Probably he is a loner. I just cannot imagine a life like his...

Stress cause hw haven finish...

2008-09-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

It is my 3rd day at RP. Y? cause I need a condusive place 2 study. It's not that it is not condusive at home but I find that at RP is more cozy. Tat's all. Y cozy? Plenty of study areas, piano at every level, there is piano(soothing music to the ears), different types of study furniture: 2-sitting, group sitting and more.

Now talking bout my hw. It a never-ending tasks. 4 da 2 days, I only finish 2 practice papers from da EL asses. bk, EM : all 3 schs cleared (Yippee...) ,chem TYS (done) and Phy wksht still working on it.

Hopefully I can get it all done by today.Insyallah...(When there is a will, there is a way):)

Apart from tat, I still have my combi sci tution 2 attend!!!

All da best 2 me....

Maths tuition cum BBQ

2008-07-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

During tuition lots of things happened. English lesson was quite interesting even after being scolded 4 not doing our hw. He...he...(naughty students) Luckily miss oh was very understanding, she knew tat da passage was quite hard n we had a hard time analysing it. U know y? Cause it is A level standard. But this do not make me laugh. Wat tickles me was when one of da boys sitting at da back of me was making a nuisance of himself. Cause usually when miss oh want 2 pick da next person to answer, she will either ask for colour or register no. So tat boy was very curious about his no. cause our register no. is not fixed. So when he asked miss oh, she tease him by saying no. 4 very loudly wif his full name next. It was damn funny tat everyone including me laughed. I laughed until tears fiiled up my eyes. She purposefully wanted everyone in my class to know his no. cause he asked for publicity.

Break time, me, jia hui and cerlyn went 2 climbed up the bridge to buy some food. I bought da $2 rojak and cerlyn bought some curry puff. It was tasty.(Finger lickin gd) :) A

fter tat sent patricia home. She also got tell me some funny things. But this one a bit horny... so...ya... u know wat i mean???

The atmosphere during maths lesson totally changed. First thing because my teacher was on MC so another relief teacher taught us. But this teacher not so bad. Can understand her teachings. However, she do not know how to joke around with us so tat makes the atmosphere soo tense. She went thru da probability wksht until we become soLook at hw sian we are... (being forced 2 smile)Shortly after, I had 2 go 2 my cousins house for bbq. In conjunction with da bbq, my mother also had brought a cake there to celebrate my sis, nephew,younger sis and uncle badae. It was an enjoyous occasion cause long time never eat bbq food.. (lol) When home at about 11++pm. When I reached home, I threw myself on da bed, giving my body to rest after an exhausting day.

Da survivor of Expedition 2008...

2008-06-21T18:49:00.001-07:00

I could barely use my feet to walk right now cause it really hurts. Feel like soaking it up in a pail of cold water cause it is kinda numb. Somehow, I managed to find my way to go home. Da whole event was an exhausting 1.

We set of sail at around 9am. I was in Bravo wif Angie, Zheng Hui, Fizzy, Wei Hao and Ye kai. We sat off at different timing such tat Alpha was 20m further than us. Daniel and Hazel were also they but they suddenly pop up from nowhere. I appreciated their presence. I enjoyed being wif my group cause they were kinda of hilarious and highly- motivated.

We were on our highest note when we walked out of the school gates to start our journey. We cheered and told each other lame jokes. But seriouly, for my group, only da sec. 4s were active. Dunno why?

On da way to our first checkpoint, Zheng Hui kept saying tat he has a "sexy back", adorable to every one and the "3" of them singing da song : sexy back. Can be very irrritating sometimes.

When we reached ten mile junction checkpoint, Miss Ong treat my group crunch ice-cream. Thanx Miss Ong !!!

Right after that, we were walking on some ulu-ulu places like: Lim Chu Kang Rd, Kranji Beach (infested with bugs), Chinese cemetry and so on... Looks kinda creepy huh, but actually we were too tired walking until we forgotten about the creepyness.

One thing I like about my group is we have lots of perserverence and motivation. That is what that kept us going. We never failed to advice each other. Besides Miss Ong seldom give us break. More break means that we will take a longer time to reach our destination.

She also told us to apply the same method when studying. Insyallah, I will put that into practical. Amin.

Holidays are coming 2 an end soon...

2008-06-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

Without I knowing it, holidays are 1 week left. 2 much of enjoyment till forgotten. Haix... y soo fast..

But at least for now, I had finished 95% of my homework plus revising some EM stuff. There will be EM mock exam when school reopens. Be prepared folks !!!

Now taking a break after doing a report. Da question very complicated. But doable. So, oklah.

Managed 2 surf neopets (my favourite game website). Grab some interest from the neobank, get free food from tyrannia, approach coltzan shrine and last but not least, play da long list of games.

Miss all my frenz and instructors. Almost a month I had been staying at home. Reason: 2 protect my face from da harmful rays. Ha..ha... Kinda lame rite ???

I had already bought fizzy present but dunno when to give. He should like it....

Afternoon plan to do physics and evening plan to do maths.

Motto: [ STUDY 2 LIVE OF LIVE 2 STUDY ??? ]

At 6pm, I m not gonna miss my favourite tv programme: Cinderella at TV9. Nice story but like no ending like tat. Favourite actor: Alan (so damn cute) Favourite actress: Cinta (small face, da size of your palm)
Be sure to catch it. Tats for now follks !!! todaloon...

2008-06-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a memorable outing. I enjoyed it so much even though it lasted only for a few hours. After tat I had2 rush 4 tuition. At first we had nothing in mind. But after dicussing, we decided 2 go to Marina Square followed by Bugis. Da 960 bus took us there. It was a 1-hour journey. While we are waiting for da bus, something disgusting happen. We saw an old women in her sixties squatting down at the grass patch and was doing her big business there. Part of me says that it is disgusting another part of me showed sympathy. I imagine that she is my grandmother, I would not let her do such things. It beyond my imagination.

When da bus came, we settled down in our own comfortable seats and we chatted all da way till we reached there.

Around 45 mins later we alighted as soon as we saw da huge "MARINA SQUARE" logo. Fazdlin, Sarina and Jeff were very hungry so we reached out 4 da nearest food court and had our lunch there. The "nasi ayam penyet" taste great even though I did not bought it. The rest of them bought it so they will know how it taste like. As 4 me, I just bought a bowl of ice kacang cause I m quite full already. B4 i met them, I already ate a plate of mee goreng at da wdlds checkpoint.

When our bellies were filled wif da lunch tat we had ate earlier on, we walked around da mall. But i think there is nothing much in there. Moreover, the items there were very costly and you really need to bring at least 100 bucks if you wanna 2 shop there.

We went out of da mall and took some pictures outside.

Da Camp Is Over ...

2008-06-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

Finally da SJAB Annual Camp is over. Hurray!!! When I was in da camp, I was dying 2 go home coz we, da sec 4s r so bored. Nothing can kill our boredom. On da first day. I did not slept at all except 4 taking 1hr of nap. Wanna 2 noe wat we did ??? We were very "kwai" and planned 2 do our hw after da lights off. In the end, I could not endure and took a nap until I was told 2 change into my full-u. Around 5pm like tat I went off for my EL tuition. It was very exhausting. I could not concentrate. 4 da whole lesson I feed myself wif sweets and biscuits. Da biscuits tat Cerlyn brought was yummy. Thanx Cerlyn...:)

On da second day, something bad happened. Road march was cancelled. I felt very sorry 4 Huda. The whole event was conveniently cancelled after making a conscientious effort of preparing da proposal and preparing da stuff 4 da event. Huda pls dunnot feel sad anymore... k. I understand wat u r going thru. After dinner I went home cause I had to attend a wedding.

Da wedding I should say was quite a grant one. I like da food tat is being served. Especially da "putu piring". As soon as I reached there, I had 2 seat next 2 my cousin. I was so afraid 2 seat next 2 him as he kept staring at me da whole time I was eating. My grandmother told me tat maybe he likes me. Crap!!! Wat da hell... Cousins can never like each other... Let me get this straight in ur mind. I was not close wif him. We rarely talk n keep 2 ourselves. Even though he was da same age as me, tat thing can never happen. Never!!! Besides, I already had my own admirer. 1 is enough.

When I reached back 2 sch, every1 looked so sian. I had no 1 2 talk 2. They always kept complaining and unhappy about me going 2 da camp. Wat is so great about attending a wedding? U tink so fun. I dun even noe who's getting married and I m being force 2 go there. So stop complaining about me getting 2 go 2 da wedding. I hate it!!! It is not freedom. Maybe 2 u it is, but 4 me is not. U complain 2 me like as if I m da 1 who tortured u. Its not my fault ok. U r tired. I m tired. Everyone is tired in da camp. So wat do u want me 2 do??? Dun use me 2 complain about ur tiredness. I had enough of it...

2008-05-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

How should I describe wat I 'm feeling rite now ? Happy coz my MT O level r over ? Scared 2 c da results in August? Ermm... i tink a bit of here n there I should say. My MT O level is not completely over yet cause I hav not sit 4 my oral on July. As 4 oral, I m a bit scared cause I m quite weaking at my oral skills. I mean, I hav da ideas on my head but da way I present it orally is totally different. U c, i m not used 2 speak proper malay cause most of my frenz are chinese and minority are indians. Da only time I talk in malay is when I communicate wif my grandmother. Ha...Ha...Ha....

So much 4 da exams. Now lets talk about hw i'm going 2 spent my june holidays wisely. Go out wif my frenz of course. Go out wif Fazdlin, mmm... maybe next week, if there is nothing. And then my SJAB frenz... If no 1 plans an outing, den I will only get 2 c them during da annual camp.(Doing hw 2gether) So sad....

Besides enjoying myself, I must also revise my work b4 term 3 begins. Especially those subjects tat I did not make it during da MYE. Paying more attention 2 my weaker subjects. (eg.POA) Practice on my speed of writing SEQ. (rmbr: NO MORE NEAT HANDWRITING!!!). Last but not least, finish my testimonial b4 wed :)

Moral of da story : Play Hard, Study Hard

2008-05-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

Why can't I speak up in class??? Why??? Wats wrong wif me??? Why has my neatness and inablity to talk in class has been da main topic of discussion for parent meeting session??? Can you talk about something else to my mom. I hate it !!! It is always the same thing over and over again. Why must you compare me wif Patricia and Sylvia. I know they are your beloved students in class and SJAB but it does not have to be them to be my example.

I seriously need to speed up on my writing if I wanna succeed in life. No more neat handwriting.... scribble all da way...

June holidays cannot slack. If I slack, school reopens I will die.....

An Exhausting Experience

2008-05-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

Today I was informed tat there is Flag Day conducted by da Singapore Parenthood Association (if i m not wrong). Basically, they needed da money 2 fund their assembly talk about parenthood and BGR. Something like that. I reported to sch around 8am. I tot I was late but luckily, I reached sch on time. When I arrived, majority of da sec. 4s were already there. Even the organiser made an attempt to come early.

We were briefed about what to do an da places tat we were assigned 2. My class and 4/8 was unlucky as we got Sembawang as our place of collection. B4 tat my group had intended 2 go Chong Pang as we had gained lots of experience collecting funds there. We set off from sch around 9am.

My group consist of me, jia hui, sarina and sangitha. We decided to go to da interchange 2 find da directory b4 we made our 1st move. I should said tat da map was confusing (even though i m a geog student) as there were a few alternative buses tat can sent us 2 our place of destination. After making our decision, we decided to take bus 858 as it was believed 2 be da shortest route 2 sembawang.

I du not know wat happened until we overshot 2 stops. We had no choice but 2 alight from where we r and started walking. We perspired all da way. Sweat covered our faces like facial mask. Even a sheet of tissue are not able 2 revive our sweat. It was blistering hot and we felt tat the sun was an inch from our head.

We stopped 4 a while when a bus stop was at sight. We waited for 962 but 2 no avail. So sad....

We continued walking until we saw sun plaza n da MRT station. We jumped 4 joy as we could at know how 2 get back 2 sch later on.

Trying our luck 2 received donation from void decks, we felt tat luck does not side us. There was not many people around da void deck and da place really looked deserted.

In the end, we found what is called Sembawang Mart. This time we were just slghtly lucky. At least 4 me and Sarina. Hmm...as 4 jia hui and sangitha, try harder next time.

At around 11.45am, we called da day off and retrieved 2 da nearest bus stop. Again we made a mistake we alighted 1 stop b4 da stop tat we r supposed 2 alight. However, since we r in front of Sun Plaza, our only choice is 2 walk a little bit more 2 da bus interchange. As we were unsure of wat bus 2 take, we ask da passenger service counter. Luckily, one of da bus driver who was off duty told us tat da 962 bus stop is just in front of Sun Plaza.

I called Ms Subhashini as I do not want to worry her. Da sad news is we are da last gruop 2 returned da tins.
Lessons learnt:
1)Ensure tat there is sufficent money in da EZ-link card
2)Always have some coins in case of emergency
3)Familiarize wif da place tat we r supposed 2 go (especially sembawang)
4)Carry a street directory wif u at all times

I was very restless after da whole event. I dragged my legs 2 da tution centre and endured at least until 6:30pm. I need a long rest now. Soo tired.... Nites....

MYE is over... yahoo....

2008-05-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

My last paper ended yesterday. Da paper was not tough. As long as u study thoroughly, u should be able 2 do well. As 4 me, I dun really study da theory part tat well. Wat a waste !!! I could simply earn tat 8 marks if I had studied 4 it. All da best to me.Emm... my target 4 this test is 2 at least pass. I would be very happy if I pass da paper.

As 4 da rest of da subjects a have a little bit of confidence except 4 Humanities. It is a killer paper. This is why tat I say so:
1) Very hard, cannot understand (tat is wat exams r 4)
2) Cannot manage my time well
3) Never do 2 source-based qns which cost me (13 marks!!!)

Prepare-2-die, Shahidah. Tat is all tat I say now. Those who read my blog, learnt from my mistake. Never ever try this in your life. You will regret it ur whole life, seriously. There's no point 2 cry over spilt milk. I have 2 look forward and try again 4 CT3. I m looking forward 4 this fri. Hope tat my results does not turn as bad as I tot.

This morning I had 2 lo-in 2 my sch system 2 view da lessons. It was f_ _king slow. I really cannot tahan. Wif my com condition like this, I feel like smashing da com on da floor. Luckily my patience is still very thick.

So bored at home. Wish tat can go out wif da sec. 4 and hav some fun. But most of them r having normal lessons now. Jia You 4 their upcoming O's. Still got da following exams 2 sit 4 :
1) Religious class MYE
2) MT "O" level

All da best 4 me !!! Insyallah I will pass...

Unity of friendship

2008-05-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

Today, I managed to went out with my 2 goody-goody friends. U should know who. In the afternoon, I met Sarina at CWP. She was a bit pinkish just now. This is a rare opportunity 2 see her wear pink. I m considered lucky!!! I wore a pink top with black skirt. Casual. Tat's me... She was abit late but she can still maintain my level of patience. I know how is it like to be late. Sorry guys... if before this you had to wait for me for almost 30 minutes everytime there is an outing. I can feel da pain and da (paisehness) of standing in front of bread talk watching ppl walking in and out like nobody business. Ha... ha... (lol) Glad tat I know.

When she came, we went to da bank cause she hav 2 banked in a cheque. I first tot was that she wanted to withdrew money 2 buy priscilla's badae present. Unfortunately, my guess was wrong.

Following that, we went for some window shopping in several shops to find a perfact badae preent 4 pris. It was damn tiring. My legs were weary and I had a blister at the back of my toe. (So painful)

In the end, we found a shop to buy her present. We bought an exclusive pair of earings and necklace. It is very elegent. Suitable for the person who wears it. It was quite affordable in thought Sarina had to top-up a few more cents 4 me. I really appreciate tat Sarina, thanx :) Halfway, Jeff called and he joined us. He was rather tired from his art focus study (so irony). He told me tat he drew batik. Hopefully, it comes out nice.

Next, we went to sweetalk but since sarina had not recovered from her cough, sarina and jeff just bought canned drinks from value shop. Get well soon...

Our next mission was to find Mother's day present. Jeff had already bought his. So now is between me and sarina. I really had nothing in mind. Sarina bought for her mum a lovely pair of earings. I guaranteed tat her mum will look 10 years younger when she wears it.

Out of a sudden, Prima Deli comes 2 my picture. I dun know why, but I know tat my mum craves for it.

Hw 2 cope wif da stress ???

2008-04-29T01:03:00.000-07:00

Now, I m mid-way thru da MYE. Very stress. EL paper had just passed. Da passage is damn hard. i annot understand a single thing. However, my paper1 was quite ok. It did not kill me tat much. I must prepare to fail for my EL. I had given my best shot but da paper does not meet my standard. As long as I can endure, I will wait till I get my EL results.

As for the rest of da subjects I have not really started revision. Phy halfway thru. I m a dead meat... Hopefully I have enough revision b4 da exams start. I m soo worried. Wat if i cannot achieve da targets tat I hav set ??? I wanted at least 3 A1s from the 6 subjects tat I hav. How ??? So stress leh... Dunno hw 2 cope... Pls some1 help me. I 'm dying... I cannot take this any longer.

I m having a hard time memorising my SEQ stuff. Y ??? Is it bcause I eat 2 much sour food or wat... Geog even worst. Dun wan 2 mention about it. It is like I need to rmbr 1001 things. And it is all running around my brains... There is soo much thing on my head right now. Not only exams but (other things)

Can I shout? Yes, I will shout... "Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Ya ALLAH, tolong lah aku ya'allah.... Mudah-mudahan aku dapat menghafal apa yang patut untuk exams aku. Aku kesempitan waktu ya'allah. Kau lapang lah masa aku ya'allah. Tolong lah aku ya'allah...

so tired from doing revision (HAIX)...

2008-04-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

At 2:45pm today, I had NAPFA test. Physically, I wasn't prepared for the test. However, I just do my best. After changing into our PE attire, we had to assemble in the hall. The hall was quite crowded. It is a mixture of sec.1,4E,NA,NT. Following that, we are divided into groups of 6 to prevent human traffic. My group members are sanghita, munisha, sarina, serene, sylvia.

Our first station was sit-ups. When I look at the boys in my class doing it, it seems like it is very easy to hit <30.>

Next, is the standing broad jump. Don't mention it. I really hate this station. Mainly because I couldn't jump far. So sad. Mushroom cannot jump. Very sad. Even though I did not pass this time, but I had improve. From 97cm to 114cm.

The third station was the shuttle-run. This station no problem. Can run one.

Fourth station, incline pull-ups. A disaster !!!

Last station, sit & reach. Em... this not so bad. Can make it.

I went home around 5:30pm. It was soo tiring. As soon as I reached home, I got a warm bath to refresh myself. Before starting my revision, I ate my lunch first. It was tasty. Lauk "urap". After that, I started revising physics. Waves. The topic a bit dry and lot of terminology to remember. So tired. Gtg. Need to wake up early for tmrw.

2008-04-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

HL was being cancelled today. Yipee!!! No need 2 do duty. However I enjoyed da movie clip that was shown by Mr. Sani. So Bio... So sad cause I cannot take bio since sec.3.

Anyway, why u did not come today??? So boring u know. Maybe cause u r sick? I seriously do not know why. If u really r, then i would like to wish u smooth recovery and get well soon:)

My maths lesson was converted to POA. He...he I die-die must finish Q6,7. Quite hard. I tried 2 do but cannot balance. So irritating. So far, I had never ever get a balance total. Sometimes, I feel like giving up, but I have no choice. This is one of my O level subject. Like it or not, I must do well. Oklah, dun aim so high. At least a B3 first. Thanx Yu Ming for teaching me da questions just now. I am grateful that someone in my class is pro in this subject. All da best 4 ur O level POA this year.

After school, I bought a bowl of instant noodles from 7-eleven and bring it to school. The soup was delicious even though it is not healthy... (Lol) After eating, I "cheong" do my POA and get ready for first parade. Actually nothing much. I wonder when I can step down. It is not fair. I am taking 2 O level subjects this year but I cannot step down this year. Then da graduating kids can step down first. You mean I do not hav to concentrate on this 2 important subjects is it??? MT and EM is crucial and I really depend on this 2 subjects for my A1. If we are not given the time to focus, then when??? It is very sad. Sometimes I feel that the principle is being very bias towards the NA students. Hopefully she can prove me wrong by making a right decision.

As for during SJAB activity, nothing has improve. The juniors are still dragging their greetings, can laugh/smile when ask to fall-in, unsure of what to do, confused to answer the seniors due to the different ranks and blah...blah...blah... So many to say. Hopefully this situation can be improve as time passes by. There is always a room for improvement!!!

At 2:30pm, I and Fizzy when for our MT focus study. Combine class again. The more the merrier... :) During focus, we had to complete a set of paper 2. The paper was quite ok. Doable. But it was very long till the lesson end. I got so sleepy easily. I nearly on the urge of dozing off.

Soon after, we came down to look at the footdrill. I managed to look at the sec. 2 squad. It is very sad to know that some of them cannot hormat properly. Up till now, they still cannot answer loudly when their seniors question them. During their "ria kan diri" I managed to talk to the squad. I told them: "What is da point of your seniors shouting at you, telling you to grip ur hands tight, check your dressing but u still do not change. I dun see da point of them repeating it alot of times. You all are sec. 2 already. It does not reflect good on u and ur seniors." Hopefully just now the sec.2s had taken my words seriously and taking the effort to improve. Come on. Next year they are going to take over already. They should know our expectations by now.

How does school promotes health ???

2008-04-09T03:35:00.000-07:00

Well the title above is actually my topic for my compo. I just want to share it with my readers. So what do you think is health??? Health is basically the condition of the body and how healthy you are.(Qoute from Longman Dictionary) Health is such a crucial aspect in life such that without it, one could not carry out their daily life activities normally. Take for example, a businessman. Without being healthy, he is unable to carry out duties well. Probably this will make him feel sick. As such, he is unable to meet his clients and therefore, his business will be affected. When this happens, he will have lesser income and will lead to a poor standard of living. By the previous example given, we can now better understand the importance of health. Schools played an important role in promoting health. In the subsequent paragraphs, I shall elaborate further about some efforts that schools could do to help to promote health.

One of them is to conduct Physical Education(PE) during Co-Curriculum time. By doing so, students will get to exercise and therefore it promotes health among the students. As we know, students have been isolated in the classroom for so long. They should rest their brain muscles after heavy lessons like maths and science. I am sure that after exercising, they will feel more refreshed and most likely be able to concentrate better in the later subjects. In my opinion, PE lessons should be conducted at least twice a week. This will definitely boost the unlikely rate of obesity in schools. When there is less obese students in schools, the schools have shown that they had done their part in promoting health.

However, the reduce in the rate of obese students in schools is not enough to prove that health is being promoted. Another way of promoting health in schools is through food and personal hygiene. This are the two major aspects of promoting health in schools. Where food is concern, the stall vendors should reduce in selling food which contains a lot of oil. From what we have learnt from the food pyramid, we should eat less carbohydrate but more of dairy products. (e.g milk, cheese) Maybe, once a week, school should colaborate events like "Healthy Week" where only healthy food are sold on that day. In one way or another, it will helped in educating the students to have healthy eating habits.

Events like ACES day have been celebrated nationally to educate the public on the awareness of health. This day is recognised as a day to exercise and to eat healthily.Normally, this day is being celebrated by having workouts where students and teachers alike exercise intensively.

In conclusion, I would like to say that health is an important matter and it should not be taken for granted. Let me leave you with this qoute: " Not all healthy people are fit, not all fit people are healthy"

Busy

2008-04-01T04:52:00.000-07:00

Hopefully before I sleep today I can finish the following:

1) Tution homework
2) Do TYS (Arithmetic Part B: Paper 2)
3) Read at least 5 chapters of the story book

Today during H3 lesson, I learnt about terrorism and the importance of protect our country against transnational terrorism. After that we had to complete a survey. Quite boring. It has been the same question for the past 4 years. So i just shade according to what I feel.

During MT lesson, Mdm Noorbaya came up to the class and scolded the 5N students. I thought what they did was wrong. They should never ever use other ppl's name for their excuse for not going for focus study. That is so wrong. If I am 1 of the malay teachers, I will also feel dissapointed. I hope that they would not repeat the same mistake again. So far 4N there is no problem. Keep it up !!!

Nightmares started to happen during maths lesson. I suddenly got so stressed up and feel very hot. When Mrs. Tan call some of the names which have not hand in the work, I started to get panic. U know why? Cause if they hand in already but I forgot to tick against the list, then I am in deep trouble. I nearly get patricia into trouble. Sorry Pat... But dun worry, I find your paper already. I feel that I want to retire from becoming a maths rap. I think pearlina could handle the job alone. Besides, I am already a physics rap. Sooo stress liao.... Argh....

2.4km run

2008-03-31T02:59:00.000-07:00

This morning I had to train up for my 2.4km run. Haix soo tiring. Nevertheless, my timing has improved by 11 secs and I m super proud of it. There is a saying that goes " A small achievement can lead to a greater sucess". So even though it is 11secs, I feel motivated. However, i do not know why I must be the top 10 runner. This morning Miss Ong was really very angry with us. She scolded us cause we did not take our own initiative to volunteer ourselves. Getting in the list is never what I have thought. But I have no choice. I can't bare to see her being so angry like tat. I rather be angry then let ppl be angry.

Sometimes, I felt that my class is "slow". Everytime when a teacher ask whether we understood or not, my class will take 5 mins to react. It is not that we are disabled or what but it clearly depicts our attitude. Even getting ppl to volunteer also will make up a huge problem. Aiya, hopefully my class will change for da better. Insyallah... Back to da story again, so i have no choice but to volunteer myself. I don't understand why ppl like pearlina, li hui could not volunteer themselves. I mean, there are far better off then me. Dunno wat 2 say. Sick and tired of it.

Anyway, during EL lesson today, I learnt a new word today. "Tyrant". Meaning: to follow ones decision or belief. Interesting word. Ha...ha...

2 tired...

2008-03-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

I do not now why but ever since da 2.4km run on mon, my legs are still cramp. I found it hard 2 walk n i looked a bit retarded walking 2 school just now. Soo pain... I think even da deep heat cream will not cure da cramps on my legs. I need 2 work out in my run in order 2 pass my NAPFA test. Talikng about passing, da highest that I had ever gotten is a bronze. So sad... Try 2 aim 4 silver but always cannot get. I wonder how my classmates get Gold for this test. My mum says that I need to train on my stamina. From my point of view, this is definitely true. Let me share wif u my running experience. It is always after da running I will start sweating n panting. Do u know how I sweat??? Like a 90kg women. Ha...ha...ha... But I m actually half of tat size... Unfortunately, sometimes I won't sweat at all no matter how I run. Scary rite.... It is not healthy if we dun sweat.

During physics, we learnt bout electrostatics. Quite interesting.Hope tat I can score full marks for this question. However during chem, it is not soo fun. Da girls r complaining about cold n da boys r saying tat they r hot. As in "hot". You know wat I mean. Who ask them 2 hav chest hair ??? Like wat sarina had told me, "shave it off" n u will feel hw cold da room is. I just stood there ignoring da coldness. Sarina always keep complaining 2 me tat she is cold. Sarina, I suggest u ask any boys from our class to hug u. Ha...ha... (lol) In science terms, more hair means more heat will be trapped n so will not feel cold anymore. No lah. Just joking... So disgusting... eee.... I cannot imagine tat 2 happen.

After school, before da maths focus study commences, I went home 2 pray n eat my lunch. I was not in da hurry anyway. Mum's cooking was delicious. "Asam pedas" n "Fried lady's finger". Yummy.... I managed2 drink all da gravy in da bowl. I even lick da bowl after tat. Ha...ha.... I look like a cavewomen don't I ??? Ha....ha... (like 1000 yrs haven eat like tat, 2 greedy) After tat, I joke wif my mum n told tat she need not wash da bowl cause I had licked it clean. Ha...ha... So greedy of me. No 1 will believe me. Small size but big appetite.

Ok, gtg now. Have 2 cook some vegetables for dinner. Hope tat it turn out 2 be nice. Insyallah...

Sports Carnival 2008

2008-03-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

Well done 4/1 !!! We had made da school proud. Last time it used 2 be da 4/4 who is in da eyes of da P & VP. Now is our chance 2 show tat we can also make it. My class won champion 4 da event as we mannaged 2 win other by having da first placing. Guess wat da prize is??? Besides da trophies, we also win fruits like bananas, apples n oranges. Soo funny...ha...ha... (lol) It is like healthy week n sporst carnival put together. However, i think my principal made a good decision as sports is not onlu introduced physically but aslo mentally. But da weird put about this event is that in da midst of da carnival, there is health quiz. Sylvia n Zhi Xian represent my class in this quiz.

Now I wan 2 talk about what happened during da core games. It was an interesting fight between 4/7. After this game, I began 2 appreciate n enjoyed it. This game needs lots of mental n physical strength. I really admit this. Sadly 2 say, my team didn't won da match. Nevertheless, I knew tat I had tried my best n I had also participated actively in tis game. I can see tat.

After da core games, I had 2 performed duty until 4pm. It was long n tiring. Despite knowing da fact tat we r tired, miss ong treat us with pizza. It was a yummy experience. Basically 4 da duty area I had 2 mve here n there. Lastly, I really enjoyed da whole event. Gtg... Bye..

Da first day of term 2...

2008-03-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

As u all know today marks da beginning of term 2. Wat does tat mean??? 4 me, it simply means tat I hav 2 work even harder, smarter n quickly. Last time, during SS lesson Jeff always called me "slow poke" cause i write so slow. I m always da last person 2 finish da sentence. Ha...ha... Jeff will know better. Talking about Jeff today, y u sooo moody 2day. R u having ur period or somethin??? (LOL) I tot only gurls will feel moody. Pls gain back ur appetite can? I feel very scared everytime recess u never eat. Like wan 2 die like tat. Pls dun die now, u got a long journey ahead of u, k. Cheer up my fren. I feel very sad if my frenz r always very moody. If possible, pls share wif me ur prob cause if I can help, I will really help. Cheer up man !!!

4 POA 2day, Miss Chitra never come. We already miss 2 lessons. Furthermore, she said tat when she come from da yunan trip, she wan 2 give us a test. Den hw ??? So scared. I dunno whether i'm prepared or not. Hope tat I pass. Insyallah...

As 4 my best fren fazdlin, "HAPPY BELATED BADAE !!!". i'm sorry k cause i didnt manage 2 celebrate ur badae wif u. I 'm sooo sorry bout tat. Dun cry.Hopefully u recover from ur sickness. Insyallah... Get well soon. Drink lots of water n hav plenty of rest. U must come tmrw. I 've got a surprise

Raining all day long...

2008-03-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

It has been raining alot today if u notice. Da advantage is u can sleep all day... Yeah!!! Just joking... My frenz always said tat I sleep like pig like tat. But can u imagine now: da warmth n cozyness of da bed, nice cozy pillow, da wind blowing thru da window... haix feel like sleeping now. Cannot cause i haven finish blogging... ha.... ha...
Just now sarina msg me n said tat she saw him. I should admit tat i miss him but it is no big deal. C him so wat ??? Just say hi... I hope tat he is alright right now. Happy among his family n frenz. Hope tat we can meet again soon.

Anyway, I only left 1 homework. Nah... it's just letter writing. Would'nt take me so long. Very fast 1. I have done a bit of revision already. Yesterday I sat at my table 4 3hrs 2 revise POA. Actually quite interesting also. I find out tat if we practise alot of POA questions, we will not get bored easily. I 'm on da urge of giving up but after doing tis "experiment" I kinda like it. Sounds funny huh...

Later at 7pm I have tuition. Lucky got tuiton. If not I really gonna rot at home. Facing da 4 blue walls from mon-wed isn't something nice 2 do. At night maybe I 'm going 2 watch "Heroes" with my siblings. I like tis story very much cause it tells u about different ppl n their powers. In da story I like only 2 characters : peter petrelli n claire's BF. Both of them r damn cute n gorgeous. But Sylar da evil villain hav not died even after being stabbed by Hiro wif a samurai sword. Aiya faster die lah... I wan happy ending leh... Hiro also teleport himself 2 da Ken Zhe dynasty. He fell in love wif da swordsmith daughter. So touching... In fact there r more heroes in da story. So dun forget 2 watch HEROES at 10pm only on channel 5.

No need 2 shout at me like tat...

2008-03-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I m referring 2 u. I noe tat u r angry wif him but u no need 2 shout at me like tat. I m quite pissed off by ur behaviour yesterday. Think in my shoe. How will u feel if u r asking a question n da person suddenly shout at ur face? In da public somemore. I seriously dun enjoy talking 2 ppl who shout at me. Even if I m angry, I won't throw my temper at my frineds cause I noe tat they r innocent. I will just deal wif da person tat make me angry. Wat u did 2 me is really unfair. I wanted 2 cry on da spot but I hav 2 tahan cause I dun wan 2 attract attention. I hoped tat u can change ur attitude.

Regarding tat boy, u just ignore him. Wats da point of being angry when his attitude is already like tat ??? I dun see da need of being angry over here. If u asked him a question n he doesn't answer, den just walk away. Join da rest of us. It doesn't kill 2 just ignore him. Tats what I did. No 1 will suffer if u just walked away. Hope tat u understand wat I m saying. I m very sure u noe who u r...

~Hope tat 2day i will enjoy myself~

2008-03-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

Early in da morning 2day, I had a malay workshop at Evergreen Sec. This workshop aimed 2 educate pupils on how 2 improve on their compo writing n da diff writing styles. It is qutie interesting although I nearly feel asleep. Thanx 2 all da teachers who had done a great job. Keep it up !!!

Later this afternoon, I m going 2 watch movies wif my SJAB frenz. Yea.... Sooo fun..... What story??? Dun noe yet...Hope it is interesting...n worthwhile watching. It a bit rainy outside after da cold showers in da morning.Enjoyz urself shahidah. Hope tat u gonna hav lots of fun.... Gtg.... Bye... :)

Utterly dissapointed

2008-03-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

Today I really think that my world had turned upside down. Da first thing in da morning, I get scolding from miss ong. Her scolding really spoilt my mood 4 da whole day. Not only me, but sarina jeffrey, ming hong, zheng xiang. In other words da non-comp teams. She scolded us because we couldn't attend tmrws event n by not coming, no 1 will help her 2 take care of da sec.1s. I got tuition n dun expect me 2 porn tuiton just 2 be a supporter there. But luckily she excused me. As 4 sarina n jeffrey, they both really get her piece of her mind. But why can't miss ong understand us??? From da moment we r not comp teams, our parents are always against us getting involved in SJAB anymore. Be it becoming a casualty or attending any SJAB events. She really put us under intense pressure.

Another thing is da com team which volunteered themself 2 be timekeepers n casualties, why can't they help in this matter??? I dun tink so da officers over there need soo many of them. Why can't they take up simple leadership like tis??? When they r in trouble, they will need us. But when they r happy about something, they will just put us aside. Why??? I had been searching for this answer since sec.2 I tnik in da eyes of miss ong n da instructors, we r nothing (invisible).

This monday thingy also make me feel very sad. Firstly, majority of da sec.4s r not interested. Wats da point of organising something when ppl dun turn up. Another thing is, whoever da organiser is, he/she should be sure of where 2 go n wat 2 do. If he/she is unsure with this things den dun organise. I also dun tink da sec.4 deserve an outing base on da no. of ppl interested in going. I pitied angie as she was excited 2 watch movie wif da sec. 4s. Unfortunately, it turned out 2 be like tis. Hope tat things could change.... Only god knows how I m feeling now.Haix...

2008-03-04T01:42:00.000-08:00

During H3 lesson today, I learnt about "positive reinforcement". To continuously reward yourself when u achieve something.This is true cause it will make some1 feel better n this will give them more encouragement 2 do positive things. As 4 me, I like 2 reward myself wif a bar of crunchie after school. Cause I know tat da school will end late. So if I can endure until 2:45pm, I will get 2 eat my crunchie. This kind or reward gives me a satisfaction 4 my endurance. Another thing is about da reasons when some1 lose confidence. I just remembered 1 reason. Due 2 da failure 2 break up huge tasks into smaller ones. This reason is really applicable 2 me as tis is happening 2 me especially in my studies. During my last minute revision, I will tend 2 cramp up all my subjects together n try 2 revise them at 1 go. It sounds crazy, though. Now I had learnt that I should not study last minute. This will not result 2 stress. As such, It will not contribute 2 da decline in results.

During MT lesson, Cikgu Sharifah ask us 2 practise on our peribahasa. Seriously, need 2 read up on my peribahasa as I kept forgetting some of them. In paper 2, it only cost me 10 marks.However, I do not wish 2 see this marks being thrown away just like tat. It is such a waste! Anyway my o level MT is on 26 May. I had started to feel da trauma now. All I could do now is 2 practice on my paper 1 n read up on my peribahasa. I'll also try 2 read some MT books during da march holidays. Purpose: 2 improve on my vocab.

As 4 maths lesson I find it interesting n fun today as every1 was attentively listening 2 Mrs. Tan explanation on vectors. Da interesting part was when we had 2 call upon 1 another 2 answer da next question. When sylvia was asked 2 call upon another person, every1 murmured "Jin Kai..Jin Kai". It was a form of sabotaging as Jin Kai was absent from school 2day. Lavishly, she went 2 follow wat they said n we had a great laugh. Get da joke ??? Nevermind. Lame. Nw comes da serious part. My o level maths paper is on 24/10 & 30/10. I must start revising now is I want 2 get my desired grades. All da best 2 me. Go 2 go now. Until den...

4 da first time i get 2 wear SSGT rank... Soo happy...

2008-02-29T05:09:00.001-08:00

As da title implies, I get 2 wore my SSGT rank today. At last, my dreams of becoming a SSGT came true. Alhamdulilah... Anyway lotz of things happen 2day. Let me start of early in da morning. I had p.d n I pair up wif Ye Kai. Then Priscilla n Huda very funny. U know y ??? They dun know where 2 stand. Then me n YK saw them standing at da overhead bridge opp RP. Lol... Anyway it is not both of u all fault. Message sent is not clear. Well, tats wat I learnt during da advance NCO course. :)

After tat had maths lesson at ITR1. I seriously cannot "tahan" da noise level. I had no choice wat 2 do da wksht tat was given 2 me.

After sch, I had 2 stay back 4 awhile 2 clear my MT file. At first I thought tat it is gonna take soo long. But in the end, I n Fazdlin were da 1st ones 2 leave. It is quite smooth n fast. After tat I changed 2 my full u n get ready 4 first parade.

Da lecture is soooo damn long. I cannot take it... I felt like sleeping but I tried 2 kept my eyes opened as possible. After tat saw Daniel n Hazel at the corridor. Long time no see... Miss them alotz... During footdrill sesion I managed 2 teach da sec. 1s n I enjoyed teaching them alot. They r da fast learner ppl. But they need 2 practice alot. As 4 da girls , they r a bunch of quite ppl. I hope tat they understand wat I teach just now. I cannot deny da fact tat I was also quite last time. But I hope da juniors will get over it over time.

During da last parade, Miss Ong tell us about da competition tat is coming soon. I pitied da com. team members n I noe tat they r very stress now. All da best 2 all of the. I will alwayz be behind u all 2 support u all. (Esp Feng Shan, Tiffany, Zhi Xian, Cynthia) If u all cry, I must cry also... Dun worry... can win wan... believe i urself... u can do it. I cannot take it any longer. I m going 2 burst into tears... Tissue....:(

I get my Chem results...

2008-02-27T00:38:00.000-08:00

Today during chem period I got my chem results. It was soo dissapointing. It was a border line pass. I should not blame miss fu for getting this results. She did try her best to give us tips before the exam. I think the problem is the class that cannot adapt to a change in the new chem teacher. As for me she is fine. I can understand her teaching. I was lucky that I did not failed the test. Now I am counting down on my POA results. I just wish that I did not fail. That's all. Bye...

Received my CT 1 results... :(

2008-02-25T05:11:00.000-08:00

Today I already received some of my CT1 results. I m not so happy neither do I felt dissapointed bout it. I just felt tat it is not 2 my satisfactory. Tat's all. So far I only failed my EM. Anyway I didn't failed so badly. But this kind of marks is not accepted 4 my O level standard. As 4 my EL i feel tat i can do better. I aim 2 get AI 4 da next CT. Moreover, I m quite delighted wif my MT results as I got an A1 4 my letter. Now come 2 sci. 4 physics, i need 2 built up on my MCQs. Really, it is damn bad. I myself do not believe tat I get tis kind of marks. Da rest of the subjects have not get yet. Hope tat it is a good 1. Got 2 go... Lots of hw 2 do... Bye... Until then...

I finally told him da truth... finally!!!

2007-12-27T05:05:00.000-08:00

On the 21/12, I went on a vacation to Langkawi. In the bus, I msg him and tell him da truth. It was quite long untill he replied. But he said "din expect this. But it is ok to be friends :)"The moment I read the msg, I was a little dissappointed. However, I cannot expect for the better. It is good that he replied my msg. On the 2nd day of my vacation, he msg me again, this time a christmas msg. I was quite happy. I felt better after telling him the truth. Whatever ans that he gave, good or bad, I will still accept it. Anyway, my move is a bit too late, when I should have told him 2 years ago. I regretted alot. If I had told him a few years back, I will not have to suffer like this. This thing is killing me alot. Is like a thousand knives stabbing.

However when I read his blog today, I was utterly sad cause 1 of his pose if I am not wrong is talking bout me. It is crystal clear that he is angry wif me. But even if you are angry at me, please dun treat me like this. I noe u will never read my blog but pls, I beg u again, dun talk behind my back. If you are a gentlemen, you are not going to do this to me. I am telling you now that msg is not a prank and it is me who write it.

If I know that you are going to reply me this way, I wouldn't have even think of sending you the msg. Do you know that I have to think very carefully on what I have to say cause I am afraid that a single word can hurt you. I even ask Aisyah to edit it. And this is what I get in return??? Sometimes, i think it is a waste of time to think about you. As for now, only god knows how I feel.

What Sarina says is sometimes true. It is good to stick with male friends than have an admirer. Anyway, now is not the time to find a partner.

2008 is coming very,very,very soon. I hope I settle this as soon as possible. I am not going to drag this any longer. I cannot stand it anymore. If I forget him means, I will forget him forever. Face the fact!!! He just treat me like a junior. Nothing else. Not someone special. He will sure choose someone from sp. Someone who is prettier than me. Some race as him. Not some who is going to be sec.4 next year, wears a scarf, someone who is quite and not close to him at all.

I 'm turning 15 as of today... yea...

2007-12-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

Today i woke up at 7am even though I set my alarm at 6:30am What makes me want to stick to my bed is the cozy and warmth feeling from my pillow. Together with the rainy weather, i wish I could be sleeping beauty(sleep forever). However due to fancy drill training, I had to sacrifice my sleeping time.(Not because of Terry!!!) After my breakfast, I went out of the house. In the lift, I msg Aisyah to tell her that I had already went out. We will usually meet at (Jeffrey bus stop) before we went to school. It is like a routine for me and Aisyah.

When i alight from the bus, Aisyah was not there yet. So I thought that she might come late again. After waiting for 3 mins, I started to feel very tense. I received a msg from her that she just came out of the house. So I waited. 5 minutes later I start to get very irritated. Different ppl have diff level of patience. I hope you know what i mean.Then I received a msg again telling that her father will be sending her to school. Knowing that it is 8:30am, I quickly crossed the road and walked to school. When i reached school, everyone had already put on their gloves and ready to fall in. I ran to the classroom and changed to my boots I followed them to fall in. I was so called glad that I am not the last person. Sarina told me that Fizzy have not came yet. Finally, when both of them came the training started.

Starting, we did a little bit of warm-up drills like stationery drills. After that, we separate ourselves into the (12-men) and (18-men) squad. Not and official name... Sorry... Me, Aisyah and Ye Kai was in the 12-men squad. Fizzy, Angie, Sarina was on the other group. I don't really know what happen to them but I can tell you what really happen in my squad.

My squad was not that high as compared to the other squad. We always kept to our own CCA. We only bothered to know each other names. However, the sad thing is that my trainer, terry had a hard time remembering my name. I mean, wat is so difficult to learn a name. Come on. If he remember his girlfriend name so easily, why can't he remember mine??? Even my chinese friends can remember my name after i told them once.

However, I should admit that he is a good trainer. I upholds with him strong leadership and willing to help people when in need. I just don't understand why some of my friends anti him. Then he taught us the different formation. First, we must slow march then break to form a cresent. After that, we had to kebelakang and form two lines facing each other.(Boy&girl) then we hentak to form a square. From the square, we form a triangle and do our own group solo. Then we need to form and arrow and march out. The End. Sounds complicated is'nt it? Anyway with alot of effort and cooperation put in, I am very much assured that we will put up a magnificent performance!!! Jia you 12-men squad!!! You can do it!!!

At 12 noon, we are released for lunch break.As for the SJAB members, we make use of this time to go home and change to new clean clothes to come to my house for my birthday celebration. I and Aisyah when to CWP first. She bought some crackers from value shop while I bought choc milk tea. We accidentally met with Fizzy and Ye Kai.

When I reached home, I managed to had a warm bath and pray. After that, I helped my mum to prepare the food. Guess wats the menu for today??? Jeng, jeng , jeng... Drum roll plz... Nasi Lemak. Even though this is not my favourite food, I still enjoyed eating it as I felt hungry after the training.

At around 2pm, Priscilla, Sylvia, Aisyah, Fizzy, Ye Kai, Jeffrey and Zheng Hui arrived. They welcomed me with a few badae gifts. It was so lovely. After that they ate the Nasi Lemak followed by caramel for dessert.

Following that, we watched a very scary movie called "stay alive". It was really damn scary. After that we watched 881. They went back at around 6:30pm. I really thanked those had gave me the badae present. Not forgeting Wei Hao n Pat who want to come but was unable to.
However, despite all this I still felt unhappy I someone didn't turn up. I understand that he is in poly and quite busy now. All the best to him. Got to go... Nitez

Nov & Dec Hols are starting!!!

2007-11-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

EOY exams are over but there is some good news and sad news to tell. Which one do you want me to tell you first? Aiya tell da sad news first better. The sad news is that I failed my A-maths and I have to sit for a re-test on 14 Nov if I want to continue taking that subject.Last time I used to think that A-maths is a burden to me. However, part of my heart says that this subject is interesting. I do not know why.But sarina had always encouraged me to continue that subject. Thanx for ur moral support. I really appreciate that. But what keeps me thinking is that, the difference between my class and 3/2.We are identical except that we take A-maths as an extra subject. Thats all. So I don't see why some ppl need to boost around with another class. Just because we studied an additional subject? I don't think so. Who knows the top student from NA might be from 3/2. Anyway, hoped that I passed my re-test so that I won't dissappoint my mum and my friend, Sarina.

The good news is that I am eligible for the through train programme.Also, I am able to sit for my MT 'o' levels next year.Yea!!! Apart from being happy, I also need to know that I had to work extra hard next year and I cannot slack anymore. (Like what I used to do during sec.1 and 2) I must really focus on my studies and attend tuitions punctually.

For the P6 open house I was told that I was the publicity advisor. I cannot believe that I am the advisor cause last year P6 open house's publicity is ruin by me... O.M.G...However if hannis want to make a new banner then it is up to here. But I should say that the banner drawn by Yaya is still nice and in good condition. I just want to tell a bit of a flashback that happen last year during publicity. When I was the publicity head, it was damn horrible.Almost everytime when I met instructor Daniel, he will scold me. Firstly, about the proposal. I always hand in 1 piece proposal cause I did not know what to write for the content. Secondly, about my plans. I made a very big mistake by buying the things before planning. He will know this as well. That day, I still remember. It was raining and I and my publicity members are doing our stuff. During lunchtime, I and aisyah went to buy instant noodles for the rest of the members. When I came back to sch I was being lectured by him. He kepty on talking till my gravy dried up. All of a sudden it rained again and now I had my gravy back. Sarina will surely remember this moment that we had with him. Anyway, I do not want my juniors to repeat the mistakes again.

So now lets change topic. I want to talk about my next year resolutions. Ppl might think that I am very kiasu. Hav n't new year already want to write about resolutions. Ok, so here are my 2008 resolutions:

1) Always be punctual in any event
2) Study SMART not HARD
3) I must aim to get at least 3 A1s in any subject (7 subjects)
4) I must aim to Get A1 for my 'O' Level MT
5) Spend my money wisely (cannot havoc)
6) Try to be more out spoken not 'EMO' all the time
7) Drink less bubble tea (once per week) 'ONLY IF REALLY DYING'
8) Stop thinking about the past that I had with him
9) Eat more, must gain weight (healthy food)
10) Try to make more frenz

Hope that I can achieve all this resolutions. Insyallah...
Not to forget, to my senior,Daniel, "Happy Birthday":)

After EOY exams...

2007-10-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

Haix... after EOY exams nothing to do in school. When I got my results it is very dissappointing. There is no difference between the Mid-year results and EOY. Pass 4 subjects, fail 3 subjects. How dissapointing was that! However, apart from that, I could sort of still cheer myself up as I got A1 for my malay. At least I can take "O" Level malay next year. The rest of the subjects I could see no improvment at all. I could safely said that 90% is my fault cause I did not have enough practise (EM/A maths). Sorry need to go now. URGENT !!! Bye...

Celebrating National Day in school...

2007-08-07T22:42:00.000-07:00

Today I felt very tired cause I have to wake up as early as 5am. Things became worse when I had not recovered from my sore throat. Very painful... I tried to drink as many cups of water but it just won't work. Very irritating...haix... Anyway, Aisyah fetch me to school with van. I felt very lucky cause I do not have to wait for the 900 bus. However, I do not have proper breakfast as I am in the hurry to go to school. I just grab a slice of bread with kaya spread. It's delicious but I am not full. Sarina as usual was not happy with us as both of us are always late. When aisyah's father drop us in front of the school bus stop, Sarina had already vanished. As we walked past the gate, we saw Jeffrey and Thahira. They were also in the rush.

As we walked past the general office, we saw wei hao standing proud and tall. I not sure who was he looking for but I quickly walked past him knowing that I am late. When we reached the first floor toilet, it was packed with NPCC and SJAB girls. So we moved to the third floor, hoping that it is not locked. To our amazement, it was not locked. We quickly changed to our full-u and headed to the SJAB room.

The parade when quite well and the concert was enjoyable. Priscilla your performance was superb...keep it up... I just wonder how do get those furry hair behind. So style...if you free next time can make for me ??? Tnx...

After that we ate our so called breakfast at horizon foodmall. I ate carrotcake. Very delicious especially with the soy sauce. I recomend to those who have not tried it before. You will regret if you never taste it. After that we went home...

Dissappointed about myself...

2007-07-31T02:51:00.000-07:00

Today is likeDoom's Day" for me. My presentation really sucks. When I came to school today, I began to worried about the presentation. I don't even know what to say for the presentation. All the PPT slides and the video is with zawani. I only helped to settle the file and I also accompanied Zawani to buy the fire wire. How silly of Munishah to lost her video wire. On saturday, me and Zawani run around town to get that damn wire. It was very sickening and tiring. At first, we went to Takhashimaya then we realise that there is no samsung shop there. After that we went to paragon. The shopping centre was quite big so we had to walk around the whole mall to find it. Unfortunately, there is no such shop there too. In the end, Zawani called Munishah to find out the exact place. Then Munishah told her that the shop is at Plaza Singapura. How irritating!!! From city hall we must go all the way to dhouby ghaut. To make things worse, the MRT was so crowded that all the passengers were so closely packed. From outside of the MRT, we all looked like solid particles.

When we reached Plaza Singapura, we headed straight to Best Denki. When we found the wire, the promoter said that it was the wrong one. He recomended us to go to Sim Lim Tower to get the correct one. Finally, we got the correct one and we went home around 4++pm. Sometimes I felt that some of my group members are not doing their job. I shall not mention who but those who know they will know wat am I talking about. Another thing is that I noticed that Zawani and Munishah had been pushing all e work to me . However, despite knowing that, I was shocked that Fadzlin did not know anything. In this matter, I do not know who to blame. But what I know is that 90% is because of me. As a group leader, I did not carry my duties well. I did not give them proper instructions and all of them look soo blur.

During the presentation I made a serious mistake. I tried to summaries a whole chunk of words on the spot. I knew that it was not possible but I tried. However, it did not turn out to be as nice as I thought. When I faced my classmates, I got so nervous that my brain suddenly blank. I often got stuck in between the words and I felt embarassed. I thought my group was the only group without the interview. So embarassing !!! If Sarina and Aisyah were there, they would know how I felt.

I kept telling myself not to be scared and instead to be brave. I mean...come on... three years in SJAB and I had learn nothing out of it. There must always be something that I have learnt. I wondered what my classmates would think of me??? A SGT who is only fierce in the parade square but as timid as a mouse during presentations. This coward behaviour has been in me since I was in primary school. I attended numerous leadership camp but I still have some difficulty in overcoming this... haix.... How I wish that there is a cure to this. Leadership is not something which is in me but those who already realise the leadership quality, that's good !!! [e.g Aisyah] How can I ever be like her... very out spoken, no wonder she was choosen to be a councillor.

I really felt down today. I did not know who could brighten me up today. I just felt like crying the whole day but the tears just could not come out. Today is one of the worse days in my life. I hated to be a 15 yr old. Life is miserable...

NDP Trainings

2007-07-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

Up till now i'm still worried about my MT project. The PPT slides and the file is settled but the video is giving my group a serious problem. I regretted doing my project at alast minute. For your info, this is likely to be my attitude. "Last minute". I knew that my group could have done better if we completed it during the june holidays. I am not going to repeat this big mistake ever again!!!

Anyway during recess, me and sarina ate nasi lemak. It is delicious but I got irritated easily by the queue. I really could not stand the queue. Even if I go JB, i would have reached already my destination. I had been standing at the same spot for about 10 minutes. How ridiculous!!! The auntie vendor gave Sarina alot of peanuts. I do not know why... [macam tau jer] At last, she donated all her peanuts to me... he...he... I ate the nasi lemak like as if I not going to find food tmrw [greedy women] Honestly, I am really hungry. When I am hungry I can eat all the things that come to my way. [[monster shahidah]]

Ah... before I forget... Just now during morning assembly, there was a motivational talk conducted by the ex- riversidians. It was good and it inspired me alot. I cannot believe it... one of the speakers was from the NA stream and she managed to get to JC in the end. How wonderful !!! I hope that I can be like her one day... insyallah...

Then after school, I and aisyah managed to grab a pandan cake and eat it. When I was about to fall in, I asked a member of the GG for two pairs of gloves. One for me and the other for Sarina. I felt honoured wearing the gloves. [sort of] When I was watching the sec. twos doin their stationery commands,[da u know who] came 2 me. I thought he wanted 2 scold me but instead something weird happened. He came near me and sang the song 'my island home'. My mouth went wide open. Actually, no,i'm just exaggerating.

Finally the proper rehearsal started. I get quite tired and restless after doing a few rounds of it. At the FUP, Tiffany suddenly told me that she miss da bear alot. She kept on insisting that the bear should treat the NC. For me, it is not really necessary for that person to treat us. Anyway we get 3rd. So whats the big deal ??? In my heart, i just felt like telling tiffany that I also miss him alotz... Who on earth will not miss their seniors [especially NC members] I just hope that one day there will be such thing called "NC Outing".Anyway the training today is not so... tough managable by people like me. As for Sarina, "Drink alotz of water" Hope u recover from ur cough soon.

After the training I walked with Aisyah home. We chat about ahemm... ya....not much to tell actually....Unfortunately, it rained halfway. I felt lucky cause I had made the effort to bring an umbrella to school. I sacrifice my water bottle because of my umbrella. How lame is that !!!