Today is likeDoom's Day" for me. My presentation really sucks. When I came to school today, I began to worried about the presentation. I don't even know what to say for the presentation. All the PPT slides and the video is with zawani. I only helped to settle the file and I also accompanied Zawani to buy the fire wire. How silly of Munishah to lost her video wire. On saturday, me and Zawani run around town to get that damn wire. It was very sickening and tiring. At first, we went to Takhashimaya then we realise that there is no samsung shop there. After that we went to paragon. The shopping centre was quite big so we had to walk around the whole mall to find it. Unfortunately, there is no such shop there too. In the end, Zawani called Munishah to find out the exact place. Then Munishah told her that the shop is at Plaza Singapura. How irritating!!! From city hall we must go all the way to dhouby ghaut. To make things worse, the MRT was so crowded that all the passengers were so closely packed. From outside of the MRT, we all looked like solid particles.
When we reached Plaza Singapura, we headed straight to Best Denki. When we found the wire, the promoter said that it was the wrong one. He recomended us to go to Sim Lim Tower to get the correct one. Finally, we got the correct one and we went home around 4++pm. Sometimes I felt that some of my group members are not doing their job. I shall not mention who but those who know they will know wat am I talking about. Another thing is that I noticed that Zawani and Munishah had been pushing all e work to me . However, despite knowing that, I was shocked that Fadzlin did not know anything. In this matter, I do not know who to blame. But what I know is that 90% is because of me. As a group leader, I did not carry my duties well. I did not give them proper instructions and all of them look soo blur.
During the presentation I made a serious mistake. I tried to summaries a whole chunk of words on the spot. I knew that it was not possible but I tried. However, it did not turn out to be as nice as I thought. When I faced my classmates, I got so nervous that my brain suddenly blank. I often got stuck in between the words and I felt embarassed. I thought my group was the only group without the interview. So embarassing !!! If Sarina and Aisyah were there, they would know how I felt.
I kept telling myself not to be scared and instead to be brave. I mean...come on... three years in SJAB and I had learn nothing out of it. There must always be something that I have learnt. I wondered what my classmates would think of me??? A SGT who is only fierce in the parade square but as timid as a mouse during presentations. This coward behaviour has been in me since I was in primary school. I attended numerous leadership camp but I still have some difficulty in overcoming this... haix.... How I wish that there is a cure to this. Leadership is not something which is in me but those who already realise the leadership quality, that's good !!! [e.g Aisyah] How can I ever be like her... very out spoken, no wonder she was choosen to be a councillor.
I really felt down today. I did not know who could brighten me up today. I just felt like crying the whole day but the tears just could not come out. Today is one of the worse days in my life. I hated to be a 15 yr old. Life is miserable...
